If you’re eager to adopt a more “crunchy” lifestyle like that eco-conscious friend of yours, you’re in the right place. Embracing the granola lifestyle has become a trendy and fulfilling choice for many moms. After all, who wants to be just an ordinary mom when you can embody a whole movement? Here’s your guide to becoming the ultimate crunchy mom in 12 straightforward steps.
1. Organic is Non-Negotiable
When discussing food, make sure to sprinkle the word “organic” throughout your conversations. “All-natural” simply doesn’t cut it anymore. You should be proud to mention your own chickens that provide fresh, cage-free eggs. Yes, emphasize that they roam freely!
2. Cloth Diapers Only
Forget about disposable diapers; they are full of harmful chemicals that could jeopardize your child’s health. Only the finest cloth diapers should grace your little one’s behind. After all, your baby deserves nothing but the best for those delicate moments.
3. Vaccinations? No Thanks!
This is a hard pass for you. Your child is not a lab rat, plus with an organic diet, they won’t fall sick. You firmly believe in the power of nature to keep your kids healthy.
4. Coconut Oil: Your Go-To Remedy
Coconut oil is your miracle cure for nearly everything. Scraped knees, diaper rashes, coughs—just a dab of coconut oil will fix it all. You even use it for your gardening accidents—because, of course, you have a garden. You need to plant one today if you don’t already have one!
5. Snacks with a Crunch
Since organic Oreos are still a dream, your child will munch on things like black bean tortilla chips and kale chips. On pizza day? Nope, it’s organic quinoa day! You have officially entered granola territory.
6. Family Bed Time
In your crunchy household, sleep is a family affair. You believe in co-sleeping because every moment with your children matters. Who needs a full night’s rest anyway? Embrace that tired mom life!
7. Breastfeeding is a Must
Bottles? What are those? You exclusively breastfeed, and you want the world to know it. Use hashtags like #EBF on your social media posts, including photos of your son at his baseball game—because breastfed babies make the best athletes, right?
8. Ditch the Plastic
Plastic is the enemy. You store food in glass containers and your kids only play with wooden toys. If it’s plastic, it’s got to go—unless it’s BPA-free, of course.
9. Homeschooling is Ideal
You strongly advocate for homeschooling. Public schools are a breeding ground for all things detrimental, after all. It’s a known fact that homeschooling is the way to go.
10. Gentle Parenting Only
Spanking is off the table. Instead, you prefer reading poetry about kindness or sending your kids to a lovingly decorated “time-out” chair. You wouldn’t want them to feel punished!
11. Natural Birth: The Only Way
You believe in the power of natural childbirth and often share your experiences as if they were a rite of passage. Document every moment—photos, videos, the works. Everyone loves a good birth story, right?
12. No Television Zone
Television is a no-go in your home. It’s filled with negativity. Instead, you teach your children with nature and flashcards. When a friend mentions their kid’s obsession with a popular show, you proudly declare, “We prefer molding minds over melting them.”
So there you have it! Being a crunchy mom involves a lifestyle that’s both fulfilling and eco-conscious. There are plenty more ways to embrace this lifestyle, but these twelve steps are the foundation you need to get started.
For more tips on alternative parenting approaches, check out our other posts, like this one on intracervical insemination. And if you’re considering home insemination, Make A Mom offers reputable at-home insemination syringe kits. For additional information on pregnancy and home insemination, refer to the Genetics and IVF Institute, which is an excellent resource.
In summary, being a crunchy mom can be fun and fulfilling. It’s all about embracing a lifestyle that prioritizes health, nature, and family connections.
Leave a Reply