If there’s one thing many mothers struggle with, it’s voicing their own needs. We often find ourselves running around, putting everyone else first, until we’re so drained that we collapse in front of the TV, only to rise and repeat the cycle the next day. It’s high time we recognize that we, too, are human beings with essential needs that must be taken care of. Otherwise, our families won’t receive the best versions of ourselves.
Especially during these challenging times of quarantine, when countless moms are juggling remote work, homeschooling, and the anxiety of potential illness, it’s crucial to assert our needs to our partners, children, employers, and friends. We must stop the cycle of martyrdom and prioritize self-care.
So, what do you need? Check if your thoughts align with our confessional list!
- A Day Off from Decision-Making: I dream of a full day where someone takes care of every meal and I don’t have to make any cooking choices, unlike the rest of my family.
- A Break from Constant Care: We need a moment away from being responsible for everyone’s meals.
- A Listening Ear: This morning, I reached out to a friend and received a response that felt dismissive. Being overlooked by someone I thought cared was almost more painful than what prompted my outreach. Never again.
- Support from True Friends: I’m feeling overwhelmed and need someone to help me make sense of it all. It feels as if I have no one to lean on.
- Childlike Perspective: My daughter pointed out a hill of dandelions, calling them pretty flowers. It took me a moment to realize they were weeds. This was a much-needed reminder to find beauty in unexpected places.
- Social Interaction: I’m not okay; I crave human connection outside my family. I never thought I’d feel this way.
- Time Apart from Partners: I love my spouse, but after this quarantine, I desperately need a break. Spending this much time together is overwhelming.
- Quiet Time: Working from home with two elementary-aged kids amid constant Zoom calls has me longing for the solitude I used to get during my commute.
- Me Time: I value my husband’s routine of going to bed early, but tonight he’s staying up late. I need my personal time!
- Freedom from Guilt: My mom makes me feel guilty for not visiting the grandchildren. I think we need to take a break from those conversations.
- Peaceful Nights: I give my five-year-old twins melatonin every night to help them sleep; otherwise, they keep each other awake. Mama needs her quiet time!
- Uninterrupted Sleep: I need my kids to sleep peacefully. It’s 3:58 AM, and I’ve been awake since 2:30. Please just sleep already!
- Self-Love: I’m learning to forgive and love myself. After growing up feeling like a burden and attracting unhealthy relationships, I recognize the need for therapy and self-care.
- Work-Life Balance: I need my husband back in the office so I can have a moment to relax while our little one naps.
- Health Resources: I’m dealing with a dental infection but can’t afford to seek help. I desperately need this pandemic to end so I can access regular care.
- Intimacy Needs: I just want a weekend without the kids for some much-needed adult time with my husband.
- Respect for Intelligence: Sometimes I have to remind my husband that I have a degree and don’t need everything mansplained to me. This drives me crazy!
- Personal Space: My toddler tried to nurse while standing, and I need my space back. I’m done with this!
- Downtime: It’s 3 AM, and my husband and I are indulging in wine and sweets while playing games. We need this downtime!
In conclusion, while it’s unlikely we can have all our needs met consistently, especially in a pandemic, we must avoid permanently placing ourselves on the back burner. We can’t just focus on making others happy at the expense of our own joy. Our physical and mental health, as well as our desires, deserve attention.
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Summary
Moms often neglect their own needs while prioritizing everyone else’s, leading to exhaustion. It’s essential for mothers to assert their needs, whether for a day off, a break from caregiving, or just some quiet time. Acknowledging these desires is crucial for maintaining physical and mental health, especially during trying times.