I truly believe that “Mommy Brain” is a real phenomenon that affects nearly all mothers I know. The overwhelming fatigue we experience can muddle our thinking, lead to forgetfulness, and make us long for the moment our kids go to bed so we can indulge in Netflix and snacks. I thought my Mommy Brain was challenging before the pandemic, but I swear it’s reached new heights now that we’ve been in quarantine for over two months.
Take last week, for instance. With shelter-in-place orders and social distancing protocols, nearly all our medical appointments have either been canceled or shifted to telehealth. However, one appointment couldn’t be missed: dropping off my tween’s broken retainer at the orthodontist. We were enjoying lunch when my husband suddenly asked, “Don’t we have an appointment today?” I glanced at the clock and realized we had only nineteen minutes to reach the office across town.
Yes, I had noted the appointment in my planner. I had even set an alarm on my phone and mentioned it to my daughter. But did I remember? Of course not. More often than not, when my alarm goes off, I find myself asking my family, “Does anyone know what that’s for?”
This new normal has wreaked havoc on my ability to remember and follow through on the few plans we have outside the house. I’m completely out of my routine. Before everything changed, I managed four kids in school, numerous appointments, errands, and activities. My days were filled with constant activity, and I would collapse into bed each night only to wake up early the next morning to do it all over again.
Before COVID-19 disrupted our lives, many parents were so busy that we couldn’t afford to let anything slip through the cracks. For those of us with larger families, this was especially true. Each child has their own set of commitments and needs.
Now that our circumstances have shifted dramatically, mothers—who often shoulder the majority of the family’s responsibilities—are left to reorganize everything for everyone. We’re balancing more roles than ever, including serving as our children’s distance-learning instructors. On top of that, we’re tasked with supporting each child’s mental and emotional well-being during this crisis, as their worlds have been turned upside down. Our older kids are missing out on proms and graduations, while many younger ones are yearning to see their friends and teachers.
There’s no time for mothers to catch a break and think quietly. We might jot something down or set a reminder on our phones, but when the time comes, we often can’t recall what we were supposed to do. Even with the orthodontist sending me a text, an email, and a reminder call the day before, I completely forgot where I was supposed to be at 1:40 p.m. on a Tuesday. I can’t even keep track of what day it is. Did I eat breakfast? What day of quarantine are we on? It feels like 2,687.
I usually pride myself on being organized, but right now, I feel lost. My kids are sleeping poorly, likely due to anxiety from quarantine, which means I’m also restless at night. Each morning brings a flood of school emails. What’s the password to that learning app? Why is the Wi-Fi acting up? Who’s crying? What’s for dinner? How do we run out of coffee?
My kids have missed Zoom meetings, and sometimes we’ve logged on late. We’ve lost assignments amid the chaos, as I’m trying to track four different sets of schoolwork while also managing my own tasks, often left until right before dinner since I’m juggling everything else throughout the day.
I’m not just a 24/7 mom, teacher, nurse, therapist, and wife; I’m also managing my own generalized anxiety disorder, which fluctuates as usual. Many moms face anxiety or depression—sometimes both—making social isolation even trickier. The coping strategies we typically rely on, like counseling, exercise, and self-care, are not always available right now or only accessible in tiny, sporadic doses.
I’ve been actively trying to give myself grace during this challenging time. This bizarre, sometimes overwhelming situation has left many mothers feeling frustrated, exhausted, and lost in a fog of motherhood. Forgetfulness is part of the package deal. Our minds are overloaded with daily responsibilities and the constant emotional turmoil that the coronavirus brings. We’re just trying to survive hour by hour, hoping we’re managing to do an adequate job.
If you’re like me and your Mommy Brain is operating at full tilt, know that you are not alone. Almost every mom I’ve spoken to is navigating the same stormy waters, just hoping to regain some semblance of normalcy. Until that day comes, we need to focus on what truly matters; if our family is healthy and safe, that is what counts the most. For more insights on parenting awareness, visit this article. Additionally, if you’re looking for more information about at-home insemination options, Make a Mom offers valuable resources. For pregnancy-related information, CDC is an excellent resource.
In summary, the quarantine has intensified the mental load of motherhood, leaving many moms feeling overwhelmed and forgetful as they juggle various roles and responsibilities amidst the chaos of the pandemic.