As a working mother with young children, my nights are often disrupted as little bodies gather around me at unpredictable hours. Before I know it, the morning alarm goes off, and I find myself navigating the chaos of getting everyone ready for the day. Mornings can either be peaceful or a whirlwind of arguments before the clock strikes 6 a.m. My “self-care” amounts to brushing my own teeth while I rush to ensure everyone else is fed, dressed, and has their teeth cleaned. After work, I face the relentless rush hour traffic that leads into dinner time. Do all kids despise dinner, or is it just mine?
The evening routine typically involves an exhausting series of tasks: reading, occasional baths, pajamas, more teeth brushing, cleaning up, and preparing for the next day. By around 9 p.m., the house is quiet, and I finally have a moment to breathe. But what does that really mean for me?
Parenting articles and blogs often romanticize this time as a coveted hour of “me” time—suggesting a glass of wine, a bubble bath, or indulging in a guilty pleasure TV show. Is this the moment when others create Pinterest-worthy projects? For me, it simply falls short, and it’s crucial that we discuss this before we lose ourselves entirely in the lives of those around us.
Now that my kids are generally sleeping through the night, I feel a surge of energy and a desire to explore who I am beyond being a mother. Bubble baths are merely a temporary fix for a deeper need; I crave meaningful “me” time that nourishes my soul after the relentless demands of parenting. I want to dive into new creative projects and explore my new identity. I don’t just want to read the next bestseller; I want to write it.
Reclaiming My “Me” Time
Reclaiming that sense of flow and purpose is essential. Here’s how I’m rediscovering my “me” time:
- Finding Time in the Early Morning (A Risky Move)
Tony Morrison famously woke up early to write before her children were awake. As a night owl, I often find myself burning the candle at both ends. While pulling precious sleep can be risky, I sometimes embrace this challenge with intention. But I also know that neglecting my rest can lead to burnout, so I’m trying to balance this carefully. - Taking Time Off Work (When Possible)
Between juggling work and motherhood, finding personal time often means sacrificing something. Have you ever taken a vacation day just for yourself? I’m going to experiment with this. Yes, we often take time for sick kids or unexpected closures, but I’m prioritizing my mental health alongside my responsibilities, scheduling “me time” like a necessary appointment. My spirit needs nourishment, and I’ll also need to pencil in that dental cleaning soon too. - Carving Out Time from Parenting (If You Can Shed the Guilt)
The workday is long, and weekends can blur into a cycle of fun, chores, and errands. I often feel guilty about stepping away from my kids, but I’m choosing to do it anyway. One night a week, I don’t see my children. I admit it—Fridays are now dedicated to staying late at work to wrap up my week, followed by restorative yoga. Alternatively, I might find a few hours at a coffee shop to write, or take a solitary walk to gather my thoughts. Every parent deserves to claim their own time at least once a week, and honestly, we deserve much more than that because parenting is challenging.
If you’re a parent of infants, know that you’re navigating a unique level of exhaustion. Remember to check in with yourself amidst the chaos of diapers and midnight wake-up calls. Your well-being matters, and so does the person you were before parenting. This is a gentle reminder that you need more than just a bubble bath; you need to thrive.
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In summary, as a mother, it’s vital to reclaim your identity and nourish your spirit amidst the daily demands of family life. You are worthy of time for yourself, and it’s never too late to rediscover what makes you feel alive.