I first met my dearest mom friend, Emily, when my baby was just a few months old. A mutual friend, an experienced mother, recognized we both needed the support of fellow new moms during those challenging early days.
Our initial meetup took place at a quaint coffee shop in our town. With our babies in tow, we chatted over my iced coffee and her chai latte, sharing stories about our college days, our partners, our labor experiences, and even our fondness for our OBGYNs. That conversation was refreshing, the first time I truly felt the relief of discussing breastfeeding, epidurals, and postpartum self-care with someone who understood.
From that day on, our friendship blossomed. Living just a mile apart made it easy to get together, and she organized playdates with other new moms, giving us much-needed opportunities to bond and share parenting stories that our husbands simply didn’t grasp.
As an introvert, I have many acquaintances but only a few close friends. Genuine connections often take time to develop. However, motherhood has a way of forging bonds with other mothers navigating the same challenges.
Shared Experiences
“Oh, your child didn’t sleep through the night until six months, too?”
“I had an induction for high blood pressure as well!”
“How do you keep the spark alive in your relationship with a newborn?”
“What new foods are you introducing to your little one?”
“What was the longest stretch you went without a shower after giving birth?”
With Emily, our connection went deeper. Initially, we shared motherhood topics, but soon we began to explore our personal struggles. I confided in her about my therapy sessions for postpartum depression, while she opened up about her own battles and the medication we both were taking. We exchanged texts filled with lighthearted banter, baby videos, and even started a beginner’s yoga class together. I remember the joy when she told me she was unexpectedly pregnant again.
The Tragedy
Then, tragedy struck. One Friday morning, Emily collapsed before taking her husband to work. Despite attempts at CPR and emergency care, she was gone in an instant. The shock and sadness of her loss was overwhelming. She left behind a loving husband and a 16-month-old son, along with an entire community that cherished her vibrant spirit and genuine kindness.
In the months since her passing, I’ve come to appreciate the profound lesson her life imparted. Friendships forged during motherhood are extraordinary – true lifelines. There’s a difference between a casual “mom squad” and a deep connection with someone who truly understands the highs and lows of motherhood.
The Importance of Connection
These friendships allow for spontaneous texts, sharing silly videos, or simply crying together. It’s about being comfortable in your messy hair and yoga pants, confiding in each other about the doubts and fears of parenting, because let’s face it – it’s incredibly tough.
Since her passing, I’ve found myself reminiscing through our text messages, feeling guilty for not fully recognizing the rarity and beauty of our friendship while she was here. Who else would check in weekly just to say they were thinking of me? Who else would text on a whim to meet at the park, or share the latest hilarious items they found online?
Weeks later, I visited the playground we used to frequent together, and the sting of her absence hit hard. Surrounded by other chatting mothers, I felt the urge to connect, but the thought of them not being her was painful. That’s the reality of grief. My therapist reminds me that while there’s now a void in my heart, it’s essential to remain open to new connections. As young mothers, we all need that support.
Remembering Emily
Emily lived with a vibrancy and authenticity that set the standard for what friendship should embody. Her love for her friends and her willingness to deepen those relationships was inspiring. My first year and a half of motherhood would have been so much lonelier without her.
Her absence is a painful reminder, but I know she would want to be remembered with joy, love, and hope. That’s why I share this message.
Moms, seek out those friendships. Dive deeper with someone in your circle. Share your mess and let them share theirs. We need each other to navigate the exhilarating highs and heartbreaking lows of motherhood. It may take time, and it might feel like you’re exploring different connections, but it’s worthwhile to find that sister who walks alongside you through the chaos of parenting.
I am profoundly grateful for Emily’s life and the legacy she left behind. The scars of her absence will remain, but I now understand the value of nurturing those unique friendships. They are truly special.
So, fellow mothers, step out and find your mom friend. She needs you as much as you need her.
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Summary
The author reflects on the deep friendship she formed with her mom friend Emily during their early motherhood journey. After Emily’s sudden passing, the author learns valuable lessons about the importance of nurturing friendships among mothers. These connections offer support, understanding, and a shared experience that is vital for navigating the challenges of parenting. The piece encourages mothers to seek out and cherish these unique relationships.