As the Thanksgiving break approaches, it’s hard to believe that our college kids are coming home. I recently chatted with a friend about this transition, and I wanted to share some insights from our conversation.
Understanding Their Experience
For those of us who have experienced the return of a college freshman after a long absence, here are a few thoughts to keep in mind. When my children returned for their first Thanksgiving after moving away to school, they often looked: exhausted, under the weather, and in dire need of rest.
It’s important to remember that they might be burdened with homework, group projects, and preparing for finals as they get ready to head back to campus shortly after the holiday. The urge to reconnect with friends may take precedence over spending quality time with family. While it can be tough to accept, this is a reality of their current stage in life.
The Pressure of Social Media
In an age dominated by social media, your child may be feeling the pressure of comparing themselves to peers. They might be grappling with questions like: Are they truly enjoying college as much as it seems? Do they have new friendships that I don’t know about? Are they eager to return, or do they feel overwhelmed?
Giving Them Space
When your child walks through the door with a mountain of laundry, your instinct might be to capture the moment for social media, inviting family members to bombard them with questions about their college life. However, your child may simply need some time to decompress, and that’s perfectly normal.
Believe it or not, significant changes have likely occurred since you last saw them. They’ve been managing their own schedules, living without a curfew, and making choices about what and when to eat. This newfound independence can sometimes lead to struggles they’re not quite ready to share. Academically, they may not be achieving the same level of success they enjoyed in high school, and they are navigating new social circles that you’re not a part of.
Advice for a Smooth Transition
So, my advice is straightforward: Let them rest. Avoid overwhelming them with questions. Embrace them warmly and love them wholeheartedly. Anticipate that there might be some challenges when they come home. Grant them the gift of patience and understanding. In the end, everything will work out.
Additional Resources
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Summary
When your college student returns home for the holidays, they may feel exhausted and overwhelmed. It’s essential to give them space, let them rest, and avoid overwhelming them with questions. Embrace them with love and understanding, as they navigate their new independence and challenges.