Recently, I found myself feeling sentimental when I came across an old Facebook memory of my now 15-year-old daughter, Eliza. I melted at the sight of her stunning platinum blonde curls framing her cherubic cheeks. Such moments whisk me back to a time when she danced freely, blissfully unaware of the world around her. I remember when she would curl up on my lap, tugging at my hair and asking, “Can I sleep with you, Mommy?” While I miss those sweet days, I also realize that I, like many other mothers, wish I had savored every little moment more deeply.
In our parenting culture, there’s a pervasive sentiment that encourages us to cherish our children while they’re young, emphasizing how quickly they grow up. The days of cuddles and kisses seem fleeting, and we often hear warnings from other mothers about the challenges that await us during the teenage years. “Time flies,” they say. “You’ll miss these early years,” they remind us, as if those toddler days are the pinnacle of parenting bliss. I used to feel the same way.
But then something remarkable happened.
While we were in spin class together, Eliza turned to me and said, “I have a lot more respect for you now, Mom.” Those words were music to my ears, and I had to suppress my excitement as I pedaled like a pro—after all, my daughter was watching, and I wanted to impress her.
How wonderful it is to witness the unexpected joys of watching your child grow. Nobody prepares you for the moments of maturity that unfold before you, like when they load the dishwasher or offer a heartfelt apology. The surprise texts that elicit genuine laughter during a workday remind you that they are still your little girl, even if she has grown. We often brace ourselves for the teenage years, expecting nothing but chaos and hormones, but I am here to tell you that these years can be just as rewarding as the earlier ones.
I genuinely love this stage of Eliza’s life as she transitions from a chatty, playful toddler into a thoughtful, independent young woman. It’s an incredible journey that I want to savor rather than wish away. Watching her grow and evolve is one of the most fulfilling experiences I’ve ever had. I find myself laughing out loud at her witty texts, and I admire her sense of loyalty when she declines a party invitation to support her brother at his baseball game.
She leaves tags on her new clothes for reasons I haven’t quite deciphered yet, but I eagerly await the explanation. Eliza has a strong sense of integrity, unwavering in her beliefs, and she takes pride in achievements like perfect attendance—something I never prioritized. Each day reveals something new about her aspirations, her identity, and who she is becoming, and I absolutely love it. This may be my favorite phase yet.
While I still cherish memories of our dancing at summer concerts, I know I can’t go back to those days. Instead, I focus on being present in the here and now. Staying stuck in nostalgia or worrying about the future will only rob me of these beautiful moments. The chubby cheeks evolve into delicate cheekbones, and the once-straight platinum curls may shift to auburn or chestnut as she experiments with her identity. I want to appreciate this stage fully.
Right now, I have a daughter who is blossoming—a teenager navigating life’s challenges, such as heartbreak and setbacks in sports. Although Eliza needs me less with each passing day, she still chooses to love me and includes me in her life.
Being a mom to a teenager has its delightful surprises. We can now engage in conversations about topics like politics, spirituality, and relationships—subjects that were not part of our discussions a few years back. I can see that she recognizes my efforts, my exhaustion, and the love I pour into our family. Sometimes, she even expresses her appreciation, like the time in spin class.
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In summary, I’ve come to embrace the teenage years with enthusiasm and joy. Watching Eliza mature is a beautiful experience that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I encourage other parents to appreciate these moments as they unfold rather than long for the past.