A few years back, I found myself at a park with my young child after a whirlwind day that included getting my older child to school, cleaning up countless messes, managing potty-training mishaps, and dealing with several tantrums—all leading to a failed nap attempt. By the time I reached the park, I was utterly exhausted. But for the first time that day, my little one was joyfully playing on his own. So, like many modern parents, I took a seat on a bench, took a few deep breaths, and pulled out my phone.
As a lactation consultant and writer, my work often overlaps with parenting. Many parents today find themselves in a similar position, juggling work and childcare without the luxury of hired help. With my son happily exploring the playground, I was multitasking—keeping one eye on him while responding to important emails and inquiries.
Suddenly, an older woman passed by and remarked, “Parents these days, always on their phones. Pfffffff…” My heart sank. Was she talking about me? Regardless, her comment stung. It felt like an unwarranted jab at my parenting choices. I was exhausted and working hard every day for my family and career, yet here was someone judging my moment of reprieve.
Initially, I felt hurt by her words. I was already grappling with the pressures of being a good mom, and her remark felt like a personal attack. But after a few days, anger set in. Who was she to judge me based on a brief snapshot of my life? She had no idea what my day had entailed before I reached for my phone.
This experience resurfaced recently when I came across a meme that perfectly captured this sentiment: when you see a mom on her phone, you’re witnessing just a small fraction of her reality. Maybe she’s finally had a moment of peace, or perhaps she’s dealing with a pressing work matter. It’s not anyone’s place to judge her choices in that moment.
As noted by The Leaky Boob, “Phone-shaming is one of society’s favorite ways to shame moms.” This behavior is not only hurtful, but it sends a damaging message to mothers that taking time for themselves is unacceptable. Being constantly “on” is an unrealistic expectation.
Consider this: when fathers are seen using their phones while caring for their kids, they often receive praise for multitasking, while mothers face scrutiny. This double standard is frustrating and unjust.
So, the next time you spot a mom on her phone, remember to either refrain from commenting, give her a nod of understanding, or even compliment her on how well she’s managing it all. Moms deserve compassion, support, and recognition—not judgment. It’s essential to foster an environment where mothers can feel empowered rather than shamed for seeking balance between their personal, professional, and parenting roles. Let’s spread kindness and encouragement instead of criticism.
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In summary, let’s work together to eliminate phone shaming among parents. Everyone has their own battles and responsibilities, and a little understanding goes a long way.