Trigger warning: mental illness, suicide
While scrolling through my college child’s phone—with their consent—I was shocked by what I uncovered. Taylor had been spending significant amounts of money on food and drinks for peers, while photos indicated they were partying at all hours, even during class. Their messages were often bizarre, sent to multiple contacts at night, and certain apps hinted at risky sexual behavior. Social media posts revealed Taylor was fabricating conflicts and sharing unbelievable stories as if they were real. Disturbingly, I also found posts where Taylor expressed suicidal thoughts.
At that moment, Taylor was asleep in a hospital bed, recovering from their first attempt at taking their own life, a traumatic event that would lead to several weeks of hospitalization. Ultimately, they were diagnosed with bipolar disorder, likely triggered by stress, sleep deprivation, and substance use. This diagnosis meant that returning to school would be on hold for an extended period.
I don’t attribute their diagnosis solely to the peers who pressured Taylor into extravagant spending or skipping classes for parties. Instead, I question why these so-called friends didn’t encourage Taylor to seek help or reach out to a professional, either at the school or to us. I wish I could tell them that what they viewed as typical college behavior were, in fact, indicators of unhealthy relationships, often rooted in taking advantage of Taylor’s mental health struggles.
The behaviors I witnessed are not typical for college students, despite the common stereotypes about college life. When Taylor began their studies, they were a shy, diligent student who never missed classes and often stressed about completing assignments well ahead of deadlines. Their social media was filled with family photos and inspirational quotes.
The shift in Taylor’s behavior was a clear indication of their mental health decline; however, it seems that either no one noticed or no one cared enough to investigate the changes. These new patterns made Taylor the “life of the party,” a wild new student who provided free meals and entertainment. Who would want to change that?
As a family, we did recognize the changes during our communication via phone and text. We urged Taylor to consider mental health support and even suggested they come home for inpatient care. Their friends’ responses to these requests ranged from “your parents are out of touch” to “your parents don’t understand you like we do.” It was disheartening to see new acquaintances—people who had known Taylor for only a short time—claim they had a better understanding of my child than we did.
According to a report on College Stats, 30% of college students believe their mental health issues affect their education. About 50% rate their mental well-being as poor, and only 40% of those struggling seek help. Interestingly, only 7% of parents recognize that their college students are facing mental health challenges.
It’s crucial for parents to openly discuss mental health with their high schoolers while preparing them for college. They need to be equipped to identify the signs of mental illness in themselves and their peers.
Behavioral changes, such as compulsive spending, erratic texting, altered social and sexual behaviors, and frequent physical complaints can signal various mental health issues. Our teenagers must learn to recognize these indicators.
Excessive drinking, especially within the first few weeks of college, is common but dangerous. It can indicate underlying mental health concerns or addiction. Teens should be aware of this before they step onto campus.
Moreover, suicide is the third leading cause of death for individuals aged 14-24, with one in ten college students having made a concrete suicide plan. When I asked one of Taylor’s friends why they didn’t seek help after the concerning social media posts, they said they thought Taylor’s exaggerated claims about family neglect meant they could handle it. We must educate our teens that they are not equipped to manage threats of suicide alone; professional support is essential.
While a new friend who is always ready for a party might seem fun, it’s crucial for your college student to recognize that such behavior could mask deeper mental health struggles, much like Taylor’s. Students should be prepared to identify when a new friend may need professional help and understand their school’s resources for mental health support. They should know how to respond if a friend shows suicidal tendencies, and this knowledge should come before they head off to college.
For further reading, you can check out this insightful post on mental health awareness at Home Insemination Kit. It’s essential to stay informed about these issues, and Make a Mom offers authoritative guidance on related topics. Additionally, for those preparing for pregnancy, What to Expect When You Have Your First IUI is an excellent resource.
In summary, as parents, we need to be vigilant and proactive about our teens’ mental health, recognizing the signs and ensuring they have the tools to support themselves and their peers during the challenging college years.