Who doesn’t enjoy a cheeky joke now and then? Among all the types of humor, sex jokes reign supreme, covering everything from playful innuendos to silly puns about intimate encounters. Believe it or not, these jokes are more common than you might think! So, if you find yourself in a situation that calls for some light-hearted, risqué humor, you’ll want to have a few ready to share. And don’t worry; there’s no need for embarrassment here. We’re all adults, after all. Sex can be both pleasurable and downright funny, whether you’re in the bedroom or sharing a laugh with friends.
With that in mind, here are some delightfully naughty jokes to keep you chuckling all night long. If you enjoy these, you might also want to explore more of our humor, including jokes about anatomy, flatulence, and those cringe-worthy dad jokes we all secretly love.
- What did the clitoris say to the vulva? “It’s all good in the hood!”
- What did the penis tell the vagina? “Don’t make me cum in there!”
- Why did the penis go wild? Someone was messing with his head.
- What’s another term for a diaphragm? A trampoline for dicks!
- What did the banana say to the vibrator? “You’re the one shaking? I’m about to get eaten!”
- What kind of lubricant does Popeye use? Olive Oyl.
- Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year!
- What’s better than pansies on a piano? Tulips on your organ!
- What did the penis say to the condom? “Cover me, I’m going in.”
- How is winning the lottery like having sex with triplets? Both let you say you’ve had six identical balls.
- What did Adam say to Eve? “Stand back. I don’t know how big this thing’s gonna grow.”
- What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
- My girlfriend claims she always smokes after sex. I told her we should use some lube next time.
- What’s the one difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
- Why did Popeye punch the Pope? He heard he visited Mount Olive.
- I just had sex in an elevator. It was great on so many levels.
- What’s the speed limit in bed? 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
- What did the woman say when her boyfriend cried after sex? “I had you pegged for someone else.”
- What do you get when you screw a textbook? A D in math.
- My wife says if 1,000 people upvote this joke, she’ll try anal right then and there. So don’t vote until Tuesday. She’s on a business trip.
- After a decade, the police are still chasing the Viagra thief. He’s just so hard to catch.
- Convincing my partner to take Viagra was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
- What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? Wipe it off and say you’re sorry.
- How is being in the military similar to getting a blowjob? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
- Everybody knows Eve wore a fig leaf. But what did Adam wear? A hole in it!
- We’ve just gotten into Tantric sex… It’s been a long time coming!
- What do bridges and sex have in common? If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a really good hand!
- Life is like a penis. Often hard for no reason!
- Why is a one-night stand with a man like a snowstorm? You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get, or how long it will last.
- How do people in a long-distance relationship get laid? They have a sex drive.
- What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? The sex drive.
- I tried phone sex once… But the holes were too small.
- My bae told me sex is better on vacation. It wasn’t the best postcard I’ve ever received.
- Boyfriend: “Want a quickie?” Girlfriend: “As opposed to what?”
- What’s the difference between the G-spot and the female orgasm? Men give up on both.
- What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman? A man will actually press the buttons and pull the knobs on a microwave.
- What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? “Beat it. We’re closed.”
- Why do walruses love Tupperware parties? They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.
- What do you call two jalapeños getting it on? F*cking hot!
- What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? “Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.”
- A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell scrotum?” Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night — it was on the tip of my tongue.”
- A guy walks into a bar, and another guy says, “I slept with my wife before we were married. Did you?” The other guy replies, “I don’t know, what was her maiden name?”
- Two sex workers were on a street corner discussing business. One said, “Yep, it’s gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air.” The other replied, “No, no. I just burped.”
- A man and a woman started to have sex in a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!” The woman replies, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”
- A husband is supposed to make his wife’s panties wet, not her eyes.
- A wife is meant to make her husband’s dick hard, not his life.
- Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
If you’re interested in more lighthearted content, you can check out this article on home insemination for some great insights. For those looking to delve deeper into pregnancy topics, visiting American Pregnancy is an excellent resource, and for practical tools, see Make a Mom’s artificial insemination kit.
In summary, laughter is a fantastic way to lighten the mood, and these jokes are perfect for doing just that. Whether you’re sharing them with friends or enjoying them on your own, they’re bound to bring a smile.