When anxiety strikes, it can feel overwhelming. Recently, a friend texted me saying, “I need to talk to you,” before abruptly leaving the conversation. Instantly, my mind began racing with questions. What was wrong? Was it something I had done? Was she facing a personal crisis?
Living with generalized anxiety disorder is a significant challenge. Although I have faced this battle for as long as I can remember, it wasn’t until my thirties that I received an official diagnosis. Realizing that natural remedies were insufficient, I opted for anxiety medication and sought therapy. These pivotal steps transformed my approach to managing anxiety.
Despite the medication, mindfulness practices, healthy lifestyle choices, and therapy, anxiety doesn’t just vanish. It has transitioned from being a major force in my life to an occasional annoyance. Yet, certain triggers still send me spiraling into anxiety. For instance, the distinct smell of hospitals—sterile and antiseptic—immediately unsettles me due to my history as a breast cancer survivor and a type 1 diabetic. Similarly, reminders of car accidents, stemming from a childhood incident involving a multi-car pileup, evoke feelings of vulnerability and fear.
While many people experience anxiety in specific situations, such as public speaking, those with generalized anxiety disorder often perceive ordinary events as catastrophic. This can lead to intense physical reactions, including a racing heart, dizziness, and muscle tension. Other forms of anxiety, such as social anxiety and selective mutism, also exist.
In the end, my friend reached out simply to share her frustration about an insensitive comment made about her child. Her urgent tone was more about seeking camaraderie than an emergency situation.
Over time, I have learned that self-criticism only exacerbates my anxiety. A brief meditation session or deep breathing exercise doesn’t provide the long-term relief I need; it’s akin to applying a bandage to a deep wound.
Negative self-talk is counterproductive, and dismissive comments from others—like “just relax” or “don’t worry”—only heighten my anxiety. These phrases can leave someone feeling misunderstood and more anxious, as if there’s something fundamentally wrong with them for not being able to simply let go.
So why do well-meaning friends and family often suggest taking deep breaths during panic? Dr. Laura Lee, a neuropsychologist, explains that techniques like Belly Breathing can help, but only if the individual has been properly trained and practices it regularly. Simply instructing someone to breathe deeply won’t alleviate anxiety.
For those wishing to support a loved one with anxiety, Dr. Lee recommends avoiding dismissive comments and instead helping to break down the situation methodically. Meaningless reassurances such as “you’re overreacting” do little to soothe those experiencing very real fears.
During a panic attack—characterized by symptoms like shortness of breath and intense fear—friends and family can assist by moving the individual to a quieter area and engaging them in distractions, like asking them to name items in the room or recite the alphabet backward. If the person is using fast-acting anxiety medication, sitting with them until it takes effect can also be comforting.
While controlled breathing may be beneficial for some, it isn’t a cure-all. Anxiety is a complex issue that requires understanding, empathy, and effective distraction techniques.
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In summary, supporting someone with anxiety involves patience and understanding rather than quick-fix solutions. It’s essential to validate their feelings and provide a safe space for them to express themselves without judgment.