When you have a child with special needs, the concept of “normal” can be a complex and often misunderstood topic. A question I encountered once really struck a chord: “Is your other child normal?”
Before I reflect on my response, let’s first consider the definition of “normal.” According to Oxford Dictionaries, “normal” refers to something that conforms to a standard—something that is typical, usual, or expected. Essentially, this question implied that my son does not meet societal expectations for a 7-year-old. He stands out as unique and exceptional, which, as a parent, fills me with immense pride.
I cherish his individuality. I admire the way he approaches life at his own pace, unbound by societal norms. His expressions of joy—whether it’s flapping his hands, making high-pitched sounds, or spinning around—are all aspects of his unique personality. Watching him create culinary combinations like custard pizza or mashed potato yogurt is delightful. His preference for observing elevator doors opening and closing instead of playing with toys is refreshing. Even the joy he finds in watching others use hand dryers in public restrooms brings a smile to my face.
He is humorous, affectionate, and full of energy. Like any other 7-year-old boy, he sometimes gets bored during shopping trips and insists he knows better than I do. He possesses typical traits for his age—brown hair, hazel eyes, average height, weight, and shoe size.
So, why did a stranger question whether my other child was “normal”? This individual focused on my son’s differences, such as his inability to speak, his balance issues, and his distinctive behaviors, framing them as shortcomings. The question seemed to suggest that I should feel sorrow for having such a unique child or that I should be disheartened by his challenges, such as not being potty trained or unable to communicate verbally.
I choose not to judge this stranger. There was a time when I felt that same ache for the limitations my son faced. I struggled with the physical demands of pushing him in a wheelchair during his early years and longed to hear his voice. However, my perspective has evolved. I now view my son as beautiful and wonderful in his own right. He is normal, as is his sister.
If we define “normal” as simply being human, then everyone fits into that category. So, when I was asked about my other child, I simply smiled and replied, “Yes, I am fortunate to have two amazing children. Thank you!”
For more insights on navigating parenting challenges, consider exploring one of our other blog posts here. It’s important to remember that parenting, especially with unique needs, can be a rewarding journey. If you’re looking for resources on fertility and family planning, Make A Mom is a reputable source to consider. Additionally, for those interested in assisted reproductive technologies, News Medical provides excellent information.
In summary, the notion of “normal” varies significantly from person to person. Embracing our children’s uniqueness rather than conforming to societal expectations is crucial in fostering a nurturing environment. Each child is a blessing, and recognizing their individuality enriches our lives.