Twenty-four days. That’s how long my five-year-old son, Alex, lasted in kindergarten before the school decided to let him go. His behavior, which included hitting, kicking, and even spitting on some days, had become increasingly concerning. Understandably, his classmates were distressed, and the other parents voiced their frustrations. The teacher, it seemed, had reached her limit.
“We want to see Alex thrive,” the school’s leadership team explained to my husband, Dan, and me. “However, we believe this environment isn’t conducive to his success.”
We had enrolled Alex in a private school, convinced that the smaller class sizes would provide the focused attention he needed, especially since he exhibited signs of potential ADHD. In pre-K, he had faced similar challenges involving aggression and difficulty staying focused, but with intense support from teachers and specialists, we managed to see progress over time. We hoped kindergarten would reflect that success.
This type of behavior isn’t uncommon among young children. In fact, research from Psych Central suggests that aggressive tendencies can be linked to immature nervous systems rather than external factors like trauma or neglect. Many children experience difficulty with impulse control, especially when faced with overwhelming emotions like excitement or anger.
I refuse to lose hope for Alex. I pray that others will also hold on to that hope.
Every school day, I dropped Alex off with a silent prayer. I wished for our discussions about kindness to resonate with him. I hoped he would remember to “stop and take a deep breath” during moments of distress, just as we practiced at home. Most importantly, I prayed for a calm day without any incidents.
Behind the scenes, we were actively working to address these issues. A behavior specialist was shadowing Alex at school, and Dan and I were diligently reading recommended resources and trying various strategies. We had consulted with a doctor who indicated that while Alex was too young for a formal ADHD diagnosis, his symptoms were evident.
Despite our efforts, day 24 arrived, and we found ourselves picking up Alex along with all his belongings. As we prepared to leave, nearly all the children in his class gathered around to give him a heartfelt farewell. It was a moment that nearly brought me to tears.
The very next day, we enrolled him in our zoned public school, ready to face the same challenges in a different setting. I’ve also signed up for personalized training with a behavior expert, who charges $350 an hour, and both Dan and I are participating in a free parenting class through the school district focused on managing challenging behaviors.
I was shocked by how unprepared or perhaps indifferent the private school seemed when it came to addressing behavioral issues. Their willingness to give up on a five-year-old left me astonished. My heart aches for families without the financial resources or time to access specialized help. What happens to those children? Where will they find the support they need?
As a society, we still have a long way to go regarding child development. Kindergarten should be a nurturing environment for every child. I take Alex’s aggression seriously, but I am equally determined to help him overcome these hurdles.
I will persist in my efforts for him, and I hope others will do the same.
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Summary:
In a heartfelt account, a mother reflects on her son’s challenging experience in kindergarten, where his aggressive behavior led to his dismissal after just 24 days. Despite the difficulties, she remains determined to seek the support he needs and emphasizes the importance of understanding and addressing behavioral issues in children. The article highlights the need for a nurturing educational environment for all children and raises concerns about the resources available to families facing similar challenges.