Before becoming a parent, I never fully grasped what it meant when someone mentioned their child struggled with transitions. In my naive, child-free mind, I believed that children simply needed to be directed, and they would follow instructions to avoid consequences.
Then I became the parent of a child who truly struggles with transitions, and I wish I could confront my pre-parent self to explain how intense this challenge can be. When asked to leave an activity or change environments, my daughter can react as if the world is ending. The time frame that suits her never aligns with mine, and it’s a daily battle that I often find overwhelming.
My youngest daughter has always had difficulty with change. From infancy, she cried during car seat transfers. As a toddler, she experienced anxiety when her other parent left for work, and she has consistently disliked changing clothes. At six years old, her reactions to transitions remain extreme. Whether it’s meal times, school, or bedtime, she often gets hyper-focused on activities that seem to demand her attention just seconds before it’s time to switch gears. This leads to meltdowns, refusals to comply, and vocal protests about needing “more time,” even after I’ve offered it extensively.
I recognize that her struggles stem from sensory sensitivities and anxiety, and I empathize with her frustration in a world that feels overwhelming. Despite trying various strategies recommended by professionals—like setting timers, creating visual cues, and discussing plans in detail—my daughter’s response is often chaotic. While some techniques yield temporary relief, most days are riddled with turmoil, and I often feel inadequate in my ability to manage the situation.
With two other children to care for, who also need support during transitions, I find myself stretched thin. Balancing their needs while ensuring we stick to our schedule leaves me drained. I don’t have the emotional reserves to sing a cheerful transition song or utilize games as distractions. As tensions rise, I find myself yelling, and the cycle of frustration perpetuates. My daughter feels rushed, and I feel guilty for not being more patient, especially when I compare her reactions to her siblings’.
After rough moments, I always circle back to reassure her of my love and support. I know we are both trying our best, even if our efforts don’t always align with expectations. This journey of navigating transitions is part of the ongoing challenge of parenthood, a topic that often goes unaddressed in parenting literature.
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In summary, every parent faces unique challenges, especially when it comes to managing transitions. It’s essential to acknowledge these experiences and find strategies that work for your family, even if they differ from conventional wisdom.