This is a candid look into our family life that may resonate with many others. I recognize that countless families face more significant challenges than ours, and I’m thankful for what we have. I’m not seeking pity; rather, as a friend wisely noted, “You never know when someone else is going through it too.” If sharing my experiences helps even one person feel less isolated in their struggles, then it’s worth it.
My son is 10 years old and should know better than to say certain things. Yet, his ADHD prevents him from filtering his words. He often blurts out inappropriate language, invents silly words, makes random noises, and speaks too loudly in public. His main challenge is impulse control, a facet of ADHD that many overlook. It’s not merely about being hyperactive or distracted.
Mornings Are a Real Struggle
I’m not talking about typical kid antics here.
“Put your shoes on.”
“Please, put your SHOES ON.”
I hand him his shoes, and in response, he tosses them across the room—not out of anger, but simply because his brain impulsively instructed him to do so. He laughs at the chaos.
I leave the room for a moment to give him space to settle down, only to return and find him rolling on the floor shouting “banana” repeatedly. Getting breakfast and his medication sorted takes an additional 40 minutes.
Once, while at a fast-food restaurant, I dashed to get ketchup, a task that took only 20 seconds. When I returned, he had shredded his burger wrapper into a thousand pieces out of sheer boredom, as his mind didn’t stop him.
Artistic expressions on the bedroom wall? That wasn’t just a toddler phase; he did that last week.
And his chatter is relentless. If he’s not talking, he’s making strange noises or beatboxing (which, I must admit, he does quite well). The screeching? Oh, the screeching.
Family, friends, and even strangers often comment, “He has a lot of energy!” No kidding! They would be amazed to see him off his medication.
I’m often heard saying “Please stop that,” “Don’t touch that,” and “That’s not okay.” I occasionally lose my patience in public, and I worry about how others perceive me as a parent. My son might think I’m too harsh, and some may question why I correct him over things that seem trivial.
When he pokes a hole in a styrofoam container, I know there will be 22 more holes soon after, followed by a mess of spaghetti sauce. I feel the need to intervene before his impulses take over.
“Let him burn off some energy,” they say. But it’s not that simple. Even running a marathon won’t tire him out; the only thing that works is melatonin.
Did I somehow cause this? Did I disrupt his sleep habits as a baby?
He doesn’t enjoy typical childhood activities like reading, sports, or learning a musical instrument. “Just sign him up for something and make him stick with it,” they say. Trust me, we’ve tried everything—Boy Scouts, baseball, football, art, and chess.
We schedule our days around when his medication kicks in and when he’s most manageable. It’s a constant hope that he’ll behave well in public spaces.
Challenges at School
At school, he faces consequences for calling out, talking too much, and losing things. I bought him a 24-pack of pencils, and they mysteriously vanished within two weeks.
“Try a fidget spinner,” they suggest. We’ve been there too—he disassembled them and lost the pieces.
Nothing we buy lasts long. Earbuds, game controllers, water bottles, clothing—they all end up ruined, not out of a desire to destroy but because his brain doesn’t signal “that’s a bad idea!” quickly enough.
He often speaks without thinking, trying to impress his classmates. He craves their acceptance and, in doing so, ends up saying things that land him in trouble. When he comes home feeling rejected, he thinks everyone dislikes him.
And while it may not matter much in the grand scheme of things, I want him to know I don’t hate him.
Common Misunderstandings
“Why don’t you just tell him…” “Why don’t you try…” “Have you considered…” If only it were that easy. Typical parenting strategies don’t apply to a child like mine. I know people mean well, but they genuinely don’t comprehend our reality.
They can’t fathom the nights I cry myself to sleep, grappling with frustration and guilt. Why can’t he just behave? What kind of mother wishes her child were different? Did I discipline him too harshly or not enough?
I often lie awake worrying: Will he ever fit into society? Will he find love and companionship? Are the medications we chose harming him? Will he develop an addiction?
I feel resentment toward friends whose children achieve milestones with ease while we celebrate simply getting through a day without an embarrassing outburst.
Shopping trips can be excruciating. Dining out often leads to embarrassment. Even a simple visit to the post office can end in tears for both of us.
The stares we receive at the pharmacy are disheartening. He may look like a typical kid, but when he yells “dolphin turd” (one of his favorite phrases), it’s clear he’s not just acting out.
And birthday parties? Don’t even get me started. One time, he invited himself to a friend’s house right in front of their parents, who said nothing. “It’s rude to do that,” I explained, but he kept insisting. Why didn’t they intervene? Were they uncomfortable with him? Did they see him as the “weird” kid?
My Son Is Not Bad
My son is not bad. He is NOT a bad child.
He is kind, sweet, generous, thoughtful, inquisitive, curious, and incredibly smart.
He’s just different.
As I write this, he’s immersed in a video game, conversing with a friend through a headset, exclaiming things like “Lizard poop!!” and “I’m a dinosaaaaaurrrr.” He’s strategizing and guiding his teammates to victory. Will his future employers recognize his potential?
Some kids outgrow ADHD or learn to manage it as adults. I genuinely hope that for him.
Too often, he’s hard on himself, calling himself an idiot or stupid, believing he can’t control his behavior. I trust him—no one would act this way on purpose.
While I strive to ignore the judgmental looks and whispers, it still stings. It pains me that he’ll always face scrutiny for something beyond his control.
But I need to remember that these people don’t know my son. They are either strangers or simply haven’t taken the time to understand him.
If they did, they would see his quick wit, his engineering mind, and his enormous heart. He loves animals, sunsets, and video games.
When he learns to channel all of these traits, the world better watch out! My unique child is destined for greatness.
For more insights into our journey, check out our other posts, such as this one on home insemination. And for those exploring fertility options, this resource provides valuable information. Additionally, if you’re looking for guidance on pregnancy, this site offers excellent insights.
In summary, my son may be labeled as different or weird, but he is a special individual with immense potential. While the journey of parenting a child with ADHD can be challenging, it is also filled with love, hope, and a belief in a bright future.