Parenting
Raising twins is far more complex than one might imagine. I have two boys who just celebrated their third birthday, and while it sounds delightful, I would describe it as… distinctly demanding.
People often claim that having twins is superior to raising a singleton. Sorry to all the solo parents, but apparently, you’re missing out. And, while I can see the appeal, raising twins is akin to the thrill of cliff diving: exhilarating at first, but after a few jumps, you find yourself achy and worn out. It’s a love-hate situation that onlookers find fascinating.
Twins are like the rock stars of shopping centers. They attract strangers, from enthusiastic moms to starry-eyed grandmas, who will leap in front of my double stroller just to “ooh” and “ahh” over my little lookalikes. They seem to perceive something magical that I’ve lost sight of. Maybe the initial excitement has faded, or I’m just too exhausted to care.
Just today, while navigating the grocery store with my boys snug in their double stroller, I was trying to balance the perfect position in the aisle so that neither could reach for the shelves. It’s a delicate dance that requires focus, which is likely why she spotted us.
I glanced up to find a woman frozen at the far end of the aisle, eyes glued to us. I’ve been through this before, so I prepared for the predictable exchange that was about to unfold.
“Oh my goodness, twins! Are they identical?”
I often wonder why this question arises. Is there a hierarchy in twin types? My boys are clearly fraternal, with different hair colors to boot.
“Nope, they’re not,” I replied, offering a smile that I hoped masked my disbelief at her inability to distinguish.
“I adore their matching outfits! Did you plan that?”
“Not at all. Honestly, I didn’t even realize they were dressed. I’m just grateful if they have their diapers on.”
At this point, sarcasm slips into my responses. If I’m honest, twins often wear matching clothes for a couple of reasons:
- It simplifies shopping—just grab two of everything.
- It makes it easier to keep track of them when they look alike. It’s all about practicality, not cuteness.
“Do they share a special bond since they were in the womb together?”
What? They’re three years old! Their only “bond” is a shared enthusiasm for swiping each other’s toys and using them as weapons.
“Not that I’ve noticed,” I replied, still smiling but with dwindling confidence that it was effective.
Then came the classic statement. “If I ever have kids, I want twins! It must be so much easier and way more fun.” sigh
I nodded politely, unable to voice the whirlwind of thoughts in my head. I was baffled by her apparent misunderstanding of how twins come to be while also trying not to disclose that raising two children simultaneously is anything but easy. As their father, I should know.
I’ll admit there are a few conveniences when it comes to twins—one pregnancy, one delivery—but that’s where the ease ends. According to my wife, the reality is that a twin pregnancy can be exhausting, as there are still two babies to care for.
Twins mean double everything—double diapers, double the lack of sleep, double the clothing, food, costs, and effort. My boys are not misbehaving; they’re just kids exploring their world, albeit with double the chaos.
When people claim twins are easier, I think it stems from a misunderstanding. Not everything is better in pairs. There are exceptions, like BOGO deals at coffee shops and double scoops of ice cream, but generally, I believe in tackling one thing at a time.
Having an older daughter has given me insight into what raising one child is like, and let me tell you, it’s a breeze by comparison.
Back in my grocery store adventure, I was simply too worn out to shatter this woman’s misconceptions. She envisions twins as matching outfits and Instagram-worthy moments, believing they possess a cosmic bond that transcends time.
Meanwhile, I’m just wondering how likely it is for them to nap simultaneously.
As I glanced up again, I spotted another double stroller approaching. Seeing another parent of twins is rare, but my fears were realized when I locked eyes with the dad pushing it. His expression mirrored my own panic.
What if she notices us both? I subtly motioned for him to move on. “I’ve got this, buddy. You can escape.” He returned a slow smile, a silent thanks conveyed between us.
I guess I’m not alone in this—he gets it. Life with twins is pure chaos.