14 Truths That Every Midwestern Kid Understands

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For those unfamiliar with the heartland, here are 14 truths that we Midwesterners have come to know and love:

1. Cow Tipping Is Overrated
   Let’s be real—while I’m not saying that cow tipping is a complete myth, it’s certainly not the rite of passage everyone thinks it is. Sure, we all know someone who claims to have tipped a cow, usually a guy named Dave who swears he did it in high school. But honestly, it’s more of a tall tale than a regular occurrence.
2. Burn Barrels Are a Way of Life
   Even if the Midwest is mostly flat, those of us from the hilly regions know how to set up the perfect burn barrel. We can keep that fire going all day while reminding kids to stay at a safe distance. And when someone burns themselves? “Just put some butter on it, you’ll be fine,” is our go-to advice.
3. Church Festivals Are Second to None
   There’s nothing quite like a Catholic church festival with its buttery sweet corn and homemade cakes. Forget store-bought desserts; we’re all about those cakewalks where the prize is a delicious, homemade treat.
4. Driving in Snow? No Problem!
   If you see someone struggling on the side of the road during the winter, chances are, they’re not from around here. We’ve mastered the art of driving on snow and ice, and we do it without breaking a sweat.
5. Cornhole Is a Mixed Bag
   While it’s true that cornhole is a staple at gatherings, not every Midwesterner is a fan. Some of us find tossing bean bags at a board less than thrilling, yet, we’ve all participated at least once—maybe for the sake of tradition.
6. High School Pride Runs Deep
   When meeting someone new, you can bet the conversation will quickly turn to where you went to high school. It’s a rite of passage that allows us to connect, and it rarely involves talking about college.
7. Weather Talk Is Mandatory
   Every third person you meet will likely say, “Don’t like the weather? Just wait five minutes!” And they’ll also remind you how freezing it was last winter while you’re sweating through the summer heat.
8. Euchre Is Serious Business
   Euchre tournaments are a big deal here, even if it’s just a casual game. Discussions about the rules are necessary before every game, because if you don’t adhere to our standards, well, that’s just unacceptable.
9. Tractor Pulls Are a Guilty Pleasure
   Sure, we can poke fun at tractor pulls, but if there’s one nearby, you can bet we’ll be watching. There’s something about the excitement of those machines that draws us in.
10. Every Kid Gets Fed
    If a child comes through our door, they’re getting offered food—no questions asked. And if they decline? We’ll offer them something else, maybe even a few more times, just to make sure.
11. Jell-O Molds Are a Tradition
    Once Midwestern women hit 50, it seems there’s an unspoken rule to start suspending food in gelatin. It’s a culinary rite of passage that connects us to our mothers and grandmothers.
12. We Have Our Own Version of Beaches
    While we may not have oceans or towering mountains, we still know how to enjoy beaches and ski resorts. The Midwest has its own charms that make us feel right at home.
13. Pop and Friendliness Go Hand in Hand
    In places like Cincinnati, suggesting a “three-way” doesn’t raise any eyebrows—it’s just good food talk. We enjoy our pop and our warm conversations.
14. Home Is Where the Heart Is
    Even if we venture out to the coasts, there’s a sense of belonging that pulls us back to the Midwest. It’s in our bones, and we cherish that connection.

In summary, growing up in the Midwest means embracing unique traditions, values, and quirks. From cow tipping myths to the joy of church festivals, these experiences shape who we are. If you’re curious about starting a family, consider checking out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination or explore reputable online retailer of At home insemination syringe kits to guide you on your journey.