Just before my wife’s birthday, after weeks of having the kids at home, I told her I’d take our three little ones shopping so they could choose a gift for her. She paused and said, “You know what I really want? I want no more messes.”
She looked at me with the same exhausted expression I imagine firefighters have while battling summer wildfires. That’s what it’s like spending the summer with three kids under twelve. I’ve been a stay-at-home dad, and I understand the struggle. I’d tidy up the living room, gather stray clothes, and pick up random bits of trash my kids invariably miss because the garbage can seems to be a mystery to them. I’d feel a sense of accomplishment, only to turn around and — BAM! — the kitchen has transformed into a doll hospital with baby dolls wrapped in blankets and my son has decided to create a pancake disaster that would fit right into a cooking show fail montage.
The truth is, my kids couldn’t care less about messes. Sure, some families manage to maintain order during summer break, with children who are polite and helpful. They tackle laundry, wash dishes, and organize their rooms with military precision. Kudos to you; I genuinely don’t mind.
I’m not concerned about how you showcase your home on Instagram. For the rest of us, who are living in the real world, our houses become chaotic during the summer months. The brief window we had to clean while the kids were in school vanishes, replaced by children who seem to be shooting chaos from their eyes.
I want to take a moment to address fellow dads out there. If you’re one of those traditional guys who believes your wife should keep the house spotless, or if you add to the mess and then complain when things aren’t up to your standards, do everyone a favor — especially your wife — and keep your opinions to yourself.
Children have no regard for your freshly vacuumed floors; they will devour those snacks like a wood chipper. They won’t think twice about the clean dishes as they ask for a snack. And while you’re on the verge of losing it, they will demand you set up the backyard slip-and-slide, traipsing in and out, soaking the carpet and contributing to that ever-growing Mount Laundry.
In the summertime, kids simply don’t care about tidiness. They want to enjoy their days, and it’s nearly impossible to maintain a clean house. We’re not in the ’80s anymore; we can’t let our kids roam the neighborhood like the Goonies, hunting for treasure while we tidy up. Well, we could, but we don’t.
Herein lies the dilemma. When the kids are home, I doubt any parent wants to spend all day cleaning. Most would rather enjoy their time with the kids. They’re only with us for a short while, and I’d prefer to spend those summers making memories rather than arguing over cleaning up their toys.
And you know what? There’s absolutely no shame in prioritizing family time over chores. No one should feel guilty about leaving the dishes for later because they took their kids to the community pool, or taught their daughter how to ride a bike, or even took a moment for themselves to avoid losing their sanity.
So yes, your house will be messiest during the summer. Everyone else’s is, too. The primary reason is that the kids are around all day. But do we really need to wage a war against that?
This summer, I’m giving you permission to relax. Clean what you can manage. Focus on the battles worth fighting. But most importantly, savor this time with your kids. There’s no shame in that. Summer — and childhood — are fleeting. Let the mess be part of the joy.
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Summary
Summer brings chaos to households with kids, making it difficult to maintain a clean home. Parents should embrace the mess and focus on enjoying time with their children instead of stressing over chores. It’s perfectly normal for homes to be messy during this season, so prioritize family memories over tidiness.