As parents for over a decade, my partner and I have managed to squeeze in only a handful of traditional “date nights.” Now, before anyone panics about the state of our marriage, let me clarify. While finding time for an evening out has been challenging for various reasons, it doesn’t mean we haven’t been dating—we just prefer to do it during the day.
The reasons for this preference are plenty. When our kids were infants, I found it cumbersome to pump milk and prepare bottles, so our “dates” often consisted of quick lunches while a grandparent babysat. It worked for us, and I never believed that quality time together should come with added stress.
As our children grew into toddlers, bedtime routines became a challenge. They needed one of us to tuck them in, which typically meant lying down beside them until they were asleep. We ventured out for late events like weddings occasionally, but our kids would stay up late, resulting in cranky mornings that made us reconsider future outings. Thus, we reserved date nights for special occasions to avoid the fallout of sleep-deprived children.
Nowadays, the bedtime battles are behind us, but finding evening childcare is still tricky. Our relatives often have their own weekend plans, and coordinating a night out feels like an exhausting effort. Plus, I’d rather tidy up during the day than at 11 p.m. after a long evening.
Truthfully, a lot of this comes down to sheer exhaustion. After 9 p.m., both my partner and I are wiped out, and the thought of heading out to party amongst a younger crowd feels less than appealing.
This is where day dates come into play—and they’re truly fantastic. Just last weekend, we dropped the kids off at my mother’s in the late afternoon. We indulged in ice cream and strolled under the cherry blossoms in the warm spring sunshine. It was pure bliss. Other times, we simply return home to enjoy a quiet moment together, or, let’s just say, engage in some adult activities (wink, wink).
Day dates are especially advantageous when evening babysitting isn’t an option. Many parents find themselves in similar situations, with limited family nearby and babysitting fees soaring. If you lack childcare, consider taking a day off work to enjoy lunch together, or arrange playdate swaps with friends in the same boat. For those with flexible jobs, slipping in short romantic interludes during the day works wonders.
If your little ones aren’t in daycare yet, leverage nap times or after-bedtime hours to carve out quality moments—no guilt in that! The key is to think outside the box and prioritize your relationship amidst the chaos of parenting.
Your relationship is the foundation of your family, and maintaining that connection is vital. Remember, it’s about making the effort, and day dates can be just as rewarding as their evening counterparts—plus, they’re often easier to manage.
And don’t let anyone judge your dating style. I’ve faced skeptics when sharing our unconventional approach to dates. As long as you and your partner are satisfied with how you connect, outside opinions shouldn’t matter. It’s important to carve out time for each other as a couple, not just as parents to your wonderful children.
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In summary, while traditional date nights can be elusive, daytime outings offer a refreshing alternative that can be just as fulfilling—if not more so. The focus should be on nurturing your relationship, regardless of the time of day.