Recently, I found myself watching a movie centered around the theme of friendship, and though it didn’t leave a lasting impression, it did spark some reflection on how little time I spend with my closest friends. Research has shown that women’s friendships are crucial for our mental health and overall well-being, but if you’re anything like me, your best friends are probably scattered across different cities or states. With the myriad of responsibilities that come with motherhood, finding time for real connection can feel nearly impossible. Sure, you might have a group text to stay in touch, but let’s be honest—that’s just a temporary fix. It’s time to shift gears.
Consider this: if leading companies prioritize face-to-face meetings, shouldn’t we do the same in our personal lives?
I recently realized that my best friend and I have only spent a couple of days together over the past three years! During this time, I’ve welcomed a third child, coped with the loss of a loved one, and moved to the suburbs—while she has been busy climbing the corporate ladder and managing her own family challenges. I must admit, I have no real idea of what her life has entailed lately, including her current struggles or even her thoughts on whether “peach” is a good shade for my skin tone (it’s definitely not). What if she’s feeling lost? Who knows? I’ve been too preoccupied googling things like “can kids drown in the shower” to check in.
As I approach my 40s, I realize we are both evolving, but separately. This separation means we’re missing out on sharing the ups and downs of life—hormonal fluctuations, parenting anxiety, environmental concerns, and family dramas—that we can’t always convey through texts or brief phone calls.
In the past three years, countless conversations have been left unspoken. A close friend recently turned 40 and shared that one day she woke up and wondered, “Where is my crew?” Between juggling her kids’ activities, carpool schedules, and a million other tasks, she felt a disconnect from her true friends. Their relationships had been running on autopilot, and I know she’s not alone in feeling this way.
Many of us moms invest so much energy into parenting that we often forget to nurture friendships that help us navigate our lives. We tend to seek out fellow moms with kids the same age who live nearby, creating a community to vent about sleepless nights or toddler tantrums. While this is important, it’s only one part of our complex lives. We are multifaceted individuals with rich histories and friendships from before we became mothers—these experiences shape our identities beyond just being “So-and-So’s mom.”
Now that my youngest is two, I’m ready to move beyond just “mom friends.” I’m not looking for help with my kids; I need support for myself. I’m dealing with emotions and challenges that my husband, bless him, shouldn’t have to navigate alone. Plus, we know that fathers and mothers experience life differently—even our mid-life crises manifest in unique ways.
From a marketing standpoint, it’s clear that we represent two distinct demographics. What product serves both my husband and me? Besides the occasional Peloton, I can’t think of any. So if we can’t even agree on what to buy, why should I expect him to relate to half the things I discuss? That’s where my best friend comes in.
To reclaim my sanity and spare my husband from my musings, I’m planning a girls’ trip. I encourage you to do the same. It’s essential for your mental health. For more insights on navigating motherhood and friendships, check out this article on home insemination or learn more from CryoBaby about fertility options. And if you’re looking for reliable information on pregnancy, visit WomensHealth.gov.
In summary, while motherhood is a significant part of our lives, it shouldn’t overshadow the importance of maintaining strong friendships. We need to prioritize genuine connections, invest time in nurturing our friendships, and take breaks to rejuvenate ourselves.