“WHAAAAAT?!” I exclaimed last weekend when my son called for me from another room. He wandered into the kitchen, where I was likely preparing a meal or cleaning up from one, and repeated my name. By that point, I had lost count of how many times I had been called “Mom,” but this time it felt like too much. I was utterly drained. Frustrated. Tired. Honestly, I was feeling down. All I wanted was some solitude, a moment of peace.
“WHAT?!” I looked up, only to see my 6-year-old’s expression fall. “Never mind,” he said, turning away.
In that split second, I shifted from a place of wanting to escape the responsibilities of parenting to a desire to be the best parent I could be. Taking a deep breath, I mustered a sliver of patience and sighed to release some of my tension. “Sorry, buddy. What do you need?”
While I can’t recall his request, he seemed to bounce back from my mood much quicker than I could shake off the guilt that accompanied it.
My son is one of three children, and although he hadn’t called for me incessantly, he was still part of the reason I felt overwhelmed. His needs, independent from those of his sisters, were still pressing. It didn’t matter that he is generally the least demanding of my children; what mattered was that I was struggling. My feelings were real, and he had no obligation to understand them—after all, he’s just a kid.
My oldest daughter is 8, while my twins are 6. Yes, I recognize how fortunate I am. But let me tell you, I am also completely drained. Simply keeping them healthy and on schedule is a full-time job. I’m gradually trusting them with more responsibilities, but they often forget steps in our daily routines. “Sneakers! Brush your teeth! SHUT THE DOOR!” Their newfound independence frequently leads to chaos and frustration. “I need help! Oh no! NAPKIN! Can you wipe me?!”
I may have moved past changing diapers and bottles, but parenting remains a physically demanding endeavor. Juggling their needs, anticipating what’s next, managing their emotions, and finding appropriate consequences for three very different personalities is exhausting. Yet, there’s a persistent expectation—largely self-imposed—that I should handle it all effortlessly.
I often feel like I’m not excelling in any area of my life. This nagging thought keeps echoing in my mind, and it resonates more deeply than usual because, in many ways, it’s accurate. I’m navigating significant personal changes and emotional challenges while working, maintaining friendships, focusing on my health, and striving to be a good co-parent. Some days, I can barely catch my breath, yet my children are demanding snacks, inquiring about sailing around the world, and wanting to play games that require patience and focus.
Every morning, the alarm blares, and I pull myself out of bed, going through the motions. On certain days, once everyone has left for the day, I find myself in tears. I feel overwhelmed and caught in the middle of life’s transitions. While change is a natural part of life, some transitions feel like complete upheavals—divorce, loss, illness, job changes—all of which create an unsettling environment. As parents, we’re tasked with navigating these turbulent waters without instilling fear in our children. I often feel raw and exposed, and parenting, particularly with multiple kids, impacts my mental health significantly.
When I prioritize my children’s needs, my own desires inevitably take a backseat. I’m not allowing myself the time to process, heal, or figure out what comes next as quickly as I would like. Slowing down requires effort, and I’m weary. I can feel it in my bones. At this moment, every parenting demand reminds me that I’m placing their needs above my own. Isn’t that what parents do? I chose this path. My kids should bring me joy, but when I’m struggling, it’s difficult to see them as anything other than emotional and physical drains.
What’s wrong with me? Nothing. I simply have unmet needs. This reality often clashes with my children’s relentless demands. Even if I can’t fulfill their requests, I’m constantly filtering noise and weighing what I can manage. At times, I can barely manage myself, so it’s essential to let go of the guilt that comes with being human.
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Summary
The overwhelming demands of parenting can lead to feelings of exhaustion and depression, as many parents struggle to balance their own needs with those of their children. This article explores the emotional toll that parenting can take, highlighting the importance of self-care and recognizing that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. While the responsibilities can feel heavy, understanding that nothing is wrong with you for needing support is crucial.