“Wait, you want to lose weight? But why? You look perfectly fine!”
While I believe people mean well when they say this, it often feels dismissive and a bit shaming. I find it hard to share my excitement about my renewed passion for fitness and the return of my abs (yes, they’re still there!) without being met with skepticism.
Fat shaming and skinny shaming are universally recognized as wrong, but why is it socially acceptable to shame someone for wanting to change their body shape or improve their fitness? It seems like this is one of the last acceptable forms of body shaming.
Why can’t I aspire to alter my physique without being told I shouldn’t? Why can’t I commit to exercising regularly and eating healthier without facing judgment? Does wanting to improve my body mean I have to give up my body positivity?
Absolutely not. Just as anyone who feels empowered by their body is worthy of respect, I am also strong for voicing my desire: “I want to see my triceps defined, and I’m not there yet.”
My goal isn’t just to lose fat; I want to build muscle and enhance my strength. I’ve shed 15 pounds and can lift heavier weights than I could when I began working out consistently in the spring. This transformation comes after a year of gaining weight due to indulging a bit too much in the philosophy that “life is short, eat the cake,” all while my job kept me chained to my desk.
I told myself I was okay with the extra pounds. I tried to embrace my new curves. I insisted that I should love every inch of my body, even as my favorite jeans became too snug.
But let me be clear: I didn’t feel good at 25 pounds heavier. I felt weighed down—both physically and mentally—tired, slow, and not like myself. I’ve always identified as an athlete, someone who thrives on movement and activity. When I’m in good shape, I feel fantastic—mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Fifteen pounds ago, I might not have appeared “fat” to others, but I was unhappy with my appearance and my energy levels. My body felt foreign to me.
And yes, I have a personal preference for how I look at a certain weight. I won’t apologize for this view because it’s mine alone. I would never impose my standards on others; in fact, I believe confidence in any body shape is incredibly attractive. My journey isn’t about seeking validation from anyone else; it’s about enhancing my own well-being.
I love seeing a fit physique in the mirror, and I want to make the most of my youth by staying active. When I feel athletic, I become more outgoing and confident—essentially, I’m a happier version of myself.
So, if a friend, who you think looks perfectly fine, expresses a desire to lose weight or improve their fitness, resist the urge to criticize their choice. Instead, offer support. Suggest hitting the gym together or, if you aren’t into that, volunteer to bring cupcakes on their cheat days.
For more insights into self-care and personal journeys, check out this helpful resource on pregnancy and home insemination, or explore this post about intracervical insemination. If you’re looking for tools to aid your journey, consider a home insemination kit as well.
In summary, everyone deserves the right to pursue their own definition of health and fitness without facing judgment. Whether you’re looking to lose weight, gain strength, or simply feel better in your skin, your journey is valid.