As I prepare to send my eldest child off to college, I find myself reflecting on the journey of motherhood over the past 18 years. Those early days with a newborn, where I meticulously tracked every diaper change, to the stress of multiplication tables and spelling tests, and the turbulent teenage years—there’s a lot to ponder. All those “should haves” and “could haves” come rushing back, but I’ve learned to dismiss them.
Maya Angelou once said, “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” And let me tell you, I’ve gained considerable wisdom through my experiences. I’ve realized that many of the regrets I held onto—those feelings of guilt about my parenting choices—were pointless. I did what I thought was best at the time, which often meant just making it through the day.
It’s taken years to reach this level of acceptance, but now I want to shout it from the rooftops: “Stop overthinking your parenting decisions!” Yes, you heard me right! Here are five parenting regrets you can let go of immediately:
- Choices in Infant Feeding: Whether you breastfed, used formula, or relied on store-bought baby food, it really doesn’t matter as long as your child was nourished. They’ll eventually thrive on a diet of pizza and snacks during their teenage years anyway.
- Excessive Screen Time: During a particularly challenging phase of postpartum depression, I let my older kids spend entire days in front of the TV while I tried to cope. And guess what? They turned out just fine.
- Consistent Bedtime Reading: As a librarian, I know the importance of reading, but I didn’t manage to do it every night. Literacy guilt? Forget it. Kids will benefit from seeing their parents read more than they will from nightly story sessions.
- Missing Events: With four kids, it’s simply impossible to attend every game or recital. They understand that they aren’t the center of the universe and don’t need constant applause to feel loved.
- Work-Related Regrets: Whether you work from home, outside the home, or choose not to work at all, as long as your family is taken care of, that’s what counts.
My biggest regret? Wasting so many years doubting my abilities as a mother. Now, as I watch my child step into adulthood, I hope he doesn’t waste his life on regrets. He’s learned that it’s better to move forward, knowing that he can always do better.
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In summary, let go of the guilt and embrace your parenting journey—there’s no perfect way to do it, just your way.