I’m not sure if this is a common issue for blended families or just mine, but I’ve noticed a recurring theme when people introduce me and my kids to others. Often, they’ll say, “I have four kids, but really only three,” or they just overlook one altogether. Why does this happen? It seems that because she’s my stepdaughter, some feel justified in leaving her out of the count.
I want to address this directly: please stop dismissing her simply because we don’t share a biological connection. Yes, she is my stepdaughter in a technical sense, but to me, she’s my daughter, plain and simple.
When I think back to my childhood, I would have told you that I had one brother and one sister—not half-siblings. My dad never referred to my siblings as anything other than his kids, and they are just that. Their children are his grandkids, not step-grandkids.
While I understand that not every stepparent shares my perspective, I hope that those who do are able to find their peace in time. It’s important to recognize that, while I may not have carried her for nine months, I still cherish her as my own. Her beauty and talents come from her biological parents, but my love for her is no less real. To suggest otherwise would undermine the experiences of adoptive parents and those who have used traditional surrogacy or donors to grow their families.
Just like there are biological parents who are indifferent to their kids, there are stepparents who wholeheartedly embrace their stepchildren. I am proud to be one of them. So, the next time you speak about my family, please just say, “Emily has four kids.” Because that’s the truth.
As for her knack for art projects and her unique taste for ketchup on ketchup? I like to think that’s a little bit of influence from me.
You can explore more about family dynamics on our blog here, or find more information about home insemination kits here. For anyone looking into IVF options, Healthline is an excellent resource.
Summary
In blended families, the exclusion of stepchildren is a common issue. The author expresses frustration over how their stepdaughter is often overlooked in introductions, emphasizing that she is as much their child as any biological offspring. Love and connection aren’t defined by blood relations, and the author advocates for full acknowledgment of their stepdaughter as part of their family.