When I was growing up, my path was laid out for me with little regard for my own opinions. Religious indoctrination began around the age of 7 or 8, and I have vivid memories of my grandparents expressing gratitude to God and praying long before that. My education took place at a local public school that offered no religious teachings, which meant I had to attend weekend classes for religious instruction, commonly known as CCD, starting in 2nd grade.
Initially, I didn’t mind the CCD classes, especially when preparing for my First Holy Communion. It was a time of celebration, complete with a suit, a party, gifts, and plenty of pizza. However, I was largely oblivious to the lessons themselves. I learned about Jesus’ life, death, concepts of sin, and the idea that God is male—no mention of female representation. At such a young age, I lacked the critical thinking skills to question what I was being taught; it was just rote memorization. I wanted to be good, and the teachings emphasized obedience to parents and authority figures, as dictated by the Bible.
By the time I reached 5th grade, I grew weary of these classes and complained frequently about attending CCD. All I wanted was to play sports and hang out with friends, not to repeat the same stories for the umpteenth time. My mother insisted that I continue, and even though I expressed my discontent, I felt compelled to honor her wishes in the hope of being a good person and getting into heaven.
By the time I was preparing for Confirmation in 8th grade, my reluctance had turned into outright disdain. I would rather have swum naked in the English Channel in January than continue attending CCD. The following year, I enrolled in a Catholic Jesuit high school, which meant even more religious instruction for four additional years.
Looking back, I realize that religious indoctrination dominated a significant part of my childhood, and I was never given a choice in the matter. From age 8 to 18, I was subjected to teachings of Catholicism without any opportunity to opt out. Even when I voiced my desire to stop attending classes, my requests fell on deaf ears. My mother assured me that completing my Confirmation would allow me to marry in a Catholic Church, a prospect that was far from my mind as an 11-year-old. Plus, it assumed I’d marry someone also Catholic, which was a big leap. I even knew someone who was not confirmed but managed to get married in a Catholic Church after a single class and a “donation.” I ended up marrying outside of that tradition entirely.
The crux of the matter is that I felt stripped of choice as a child, which I believe is unjust. There are countless religions to explore, yet I was thrust into Catholicism without consent. I refuse to impose the same experience on my children. Religious indoctrination is a deliberate process that starts early, and it shapes one’s worldview. I absorbed everything without a filter, and that kind of uncritical acceptance is not something I want for my kids.
I currently do not adhere to any organized religion, though I have developed my own beliefs. I want my children to explore and determine their own beliefs, whether they choose a religion or not. I will support whatever path they choose but will never compel them to accept ideas that I have selected for them. I am committed to raising my kids in a secular household—not because I want them to be atheists, but so they can freely navigate life’s complexities on their own terms.
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Summary:
In this article, I share my experience of growing up in a religious environment that offered no choice, leading me to decide to raise my children in a non-religious household. I believe in allowing them the freedom to explore their beliefs without the constraints of imposed religion, ensuring they develop their own understanding of spirituality and life.