Parenting Insights
By Jamie Thompson
Updated: Jan. 29, 2021
Originally Published: Dec. 12, 2016
Ah, the joy of Christmas morning in 1988! The excitement in my household was palpable as my brothers tore into the big gift they had been anticipating for days. Their yelps of joy echoed as they unwrapped a shiny new Nintendo console, a leap forward from their old Atari. I, at 13, watched them in bemusement as they dove headfirst into their video game world, clad in pajamas and sporting wild bedheads. I couldn’t help but think, “What’s the big deal with these games?” My initial indifference lasted until I finally joined in on the Super Mario Bros. fun. But even then, I never grasped the allure of sitting in front of a screen, battling aliens or rescuing Princess Zelda; I was far more interested in mall outings than game marathons.
Fast forward to my own son, who inherited the gaming enthusiasm of his uncles. Just before the Wii’s release, my mother-in-law gifted our then-3-year-old a toddler-friendly gaming system, complete with oversized controllers and educational games. His eyes lit up as he explored the colorful graphics, and for a while, it was delightful to see him engaged in learning. But soon, the charm faded as tantrums erupted, and his focus narrowed solely on gaming. He began to rise earlier, desperate to squeeze in more playtime, and whenever I announced it was time to switch off the games, he would unleash epic meltdowns.
Video games quickly turned into a source of stress for our family. I didn’t recall my brothers throwing fits over gaming, and I felt ill-equipped to impose limits on what seemed like harmless fun. As his emotional outbursts escalated, my husband and I made the tough decision to ban video games altogether until our son matured.
For years, we upheld a no-video-game rule, which worked for a time. However, I soon realized that many boys bond over gaming; it’s their social currency. My son would return from friends’ houses buzzing about the games they played, and eventually, we caved. Santa brought a Wii for his 8th birthday, but it didn’t take long for those old patterns to resurface. He struggled with emotional control, school focus, and sleep—issues that seemed to revolve around his gaming obsession. We set strict limits: an hour of gaming on weekends and no play during the week. Ironically, those limits only intensified his fixation on video games.
It broke my heart to be the “bad guy,” but we recognized that his mental well-being was at stake. The moment we eliminated gaming from our lives, it was like a weight lifted. A few weeks later, our son confided that gaming made his mind feel “scrambled.” When he expressed relief at the break from games, I knew we had made the right choice. For almost five years, our home was blissfully free of video games.
Now, at 13, we’ve worked together to strike a balance. My husband and I understand that video games are part of growing up, and through open discussions, our son has learned to recognize when he’s had enough. We allow occasional play, but he’s aware that life should not revolve around screens. If only I could get him as motivated about cleaning his room as he is about gaming!
For more insights on navigating the complexities of parenting, check out our other blog posts on related topics.
Summary:
This article shares a mother’s journey as she navigates her son’s obsession with video games, detailing the challenges and eventual strategies that led to a healthier relationship with gaming. Over time, they learned to balance screen time while prioritizing the child’s mental well-being and emotional stability.