As I approached my 40th birthday, I felt an exhilarating sense of anticipation. It was as though I was ready to shed an old, worn-out skin and emerge renewed, enveloped in something vibrant and fresh. Forty represented a pivotal moment—an opportunity for transformation. I imagined waking up that day infused with newfound confidence, clarity, and purpose.
Reality, however, was a different story. When my birthday arrived, I felt much like I always did—caught up in the chaos of motherhood, fretting over trivial matters, and uncertain about what lay ahead. The weeks turned into months, and a year slipped by without much evolving. My hopes for a vibrant new phase were rerouted when I discovered I was expecting my third child, ushering me back to the challenges of early motherhood.
I realized I couldn’t drift through another decade hidden behind motherhood’s demands. I had to carve out my own definition of confidence, clarity, and purpose instead of waiting for them to magically appear. As a proud late bloomer, I’ve taken my time to find my footing, and here’s where I stand now in my mid-40s:
Embrace the journey, don’t just overcome it.
Growing up, the mantra in my home was, “Get over it; you’re fantastic, move on.” While this mindset served well for minor setbacks, I now understand that life is not simply about pushing difficult experiences aside. It’s about acknowledging them, no matter how unpleasant. To get through something is to recognize its impact on you, to feel it deeply, and to emerge changed. It’s about embracing a life that encompasses all emotions—sadness, anger, joy, and everything in between.
Create space by letting go.
Building on the idea of moving through challenges, I’m learning to release the intense emotions tied to past experiences. Instead of merely getting over them, I aim to make room for the positivity that can follow.
What others think of me isn’t my concern.
Years ago, my close friend, Jenna, shared a nugget of wisdom that took me time to fully grasp. As someone who has always strived to please others, I found it hard to live by this. It’s not that I don’t value others’ opinions; rather, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I can’t please everyone. People will have their judgments and criticisms, and I’d rather direct my energy towards being true to myself and the ones I cherish.
Bravery is an everyday affair.
In my 20s, bravery involved grand gestures—like moving across the country or ending a relationship. By my 30s, it was about significant life changes, such as marriage and starting a family. Now, in my 40s, bravery manifests in smaller, yet equally important actions. It’s about committing to write daily, voicing my concerns to friends, learning to say “no” to my kids when necessary, and finding joy in the little victories.
Practice self-kindness.
I’m learning that I will stumble, misspeak, and occasionally lose my temper. I might forget to check in on my parents or gain a few extra pounds. I’ve been adept at chastising myself over mistakes while failing to acknowledge my successes. This habit is unproductive and sets a poor example for my daughters, who deserve to see me practice self-compassion. Mistakes happen. As long as no one is gravely harmed, they’re usually forgivable and, with time, forgettable.
Acceptance of aging.
I’ve come to accept that I’m not in my youth anymore. I don’t mean to say I’m old; rather, I’m realistic about my age. I have no desire to recapture the fleeting youth of my 20s or 30s. While I enjoyed those years, I was often more insecure and stressed. Yes, I worry about my skin and the signs of aging, but I’m learning that what matters most is not how I look but who I am within.
Stay alert, not fearful.
Aging brings its own set of worries, and I won’t pretend that I’m not concerned about my health. I’ve been fortunate so far, but I realize the importance of self-care—physically, mentally, and emotionally. There’s no need for extreme diets or excessive workouts just to lose a couple of pounds. I’m learning to say no to social pressures, including drinking when I don’t want to, and recognizing the value of a good night’s sleep.
Receive compliments graciously.
When someone shares a compliment, I’m practicing the art of simply saying “thank you.” I often feel compelled to downplay my achievements or immediately return the compliment, which can come off as insincere. Instead, I’m learning to sit with kind words, letting them resonate and acknowledging their significance.
It’s not that I still have it; it’s that I’m finally discovering it.
This isn’t about physical attractiveness but about the essence of what truly matters—confidence, clarity, and intention. Slowing down, being present, and embracing happiness are all worthwhile pursuits. Cultivating positivity takes effort, and I’m actively working on it.
Better late than never, right?
If you found resonance in my reflections, consider exploring more on our blog, such as this article about parenting and self-discovery. If you’re looking for resources on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource for fertility and insurance questions. And for at-home insemination kits, this reputable online retailer is worth visiting.
In summary, my journey through motherhood and self-discovery has taught me the importance of embracing life’s complexities, letting go of what doesn’t serve me, and focusing on what truly matters as I navigate this vibrant phase of life.
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