We often find ourselves in public spaces—be it the grocery store, a coffee shop, or a park—where well-intentioned strangers gaze at us with warm eyes, ready to share their unsolicited wisdom: “Enjoy these moments… they pass so quickly.”
And here’s the reality: I do appreciate these moments. I treasure them deeply. I was that mother rocking her newborn at 2 AM, reminding myself to savor the weight of those ten tiny pounds, the grasp of her little fingers around mine, and the way she stretched her arms wide. I am very much aware of how fleeting time can be, and I hold tight to this special chapter in our lives.
Yet, I can’t help but ponder: what about the challenging moments? What do we say about those chaotic minutes that don’t feel worthy of cherishing? Just this morning, my 22-month-old threw a two-hour tantrum that left me exasperated, retreating to our bedroom with a stash of chocolate, desperately seeking solace. Or the time at the store when my daughters’ bickering escalated so much that it toppled our cart, sending it crashing to the ground and filling the air with their piercing screams. And let’s not forget that day when my first-trimester fatigue hit its peak, leaving me overwhelmed by two demanding toddlers, prompting me to shout, “Can’t you just take care of yourselves for a bit?!”
What do we do with those tough moments? Is it even possible to find joy in the chaos? Those instances when we feel like we’re failing as mothers, when frustration overtakes patience, and our harsh words ring louder than our love.
Here’s the truth: moments are relentless. They tick away, some flying by while others drag on. They arrive uninvited, and we have no choice but to navigate through them. Some are easier to treasure; others are simply difficult.
To those well-meaning strangers, please understand, we are trying our best to embrace these fleeting times because we know the truth: time is a thief, and it speeds up when we crave slowness.
But the hard truth is this: we simply cannot enjoy every moment. Being a mom is challenging, and that’s okay.
So to all the tired mamas, the new moms, those barely hanging on, the sick ones, and those fueled by caffeine: let go of the notion that you must savor every fleeting moment. That’s just another expectation that adds to the pressure of being a “good” mother.
What you need to know is this: you are already a wonderful mother. You love your children fiercely, and that’s what truly matters.
Let’s consider reframing the idea of enjoyment. Instead of striving to adore every moment, what if we chose to embrace them, even when they seem overwhelming? Embracing those challenging times is a form of defiance, a statement that acknowledges the tough moments do not define us. It’s a courageous affirmation that we are more than just the sum of our difficult minutes.
So the next time you are in the midst of whining, bickering, or pure exhaustion, seek something positive within the chaos: the chocolate smudge on her cheek after stealing a bite of cookie, new words she attempts to use, or even a chuckle instead of tears at how wildly the day has unraveled.
I want to fully experience life—not just exist in it—through these exhausting years, even when they threaten to unravel my sanity. So when someone advises you to “enjoy this,” just smile and say, “I will.” Then, muster up every bit of defiance within you to find a tiny moment to cherish, no matter how small.
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