About a month ago, while visiting family in my hometown, I found myself in the midst of a depressive episode while also taking care of a lively two-year-old. Understanding the support my spouse provided was an eye-opener, especially since I’d been handling all parenting duties alone for the past six weeks due to his extended work trip. This was particularly tough during the first trimester of my pregnancy.
During my husband’s absence, my toddler, whom I affectionately call Little Bear, transformed into a different child entirely. He was pickier with food, more defiant, and exhibited heightened energy levels. However, the most striking change was his aversion to bedtime. Though I attributed some of this to being away from his familiar environment, I recalled our previous two-week stay with my husband’s family in Florida, where none of these issues arose. It became evident that his father’s presence was a crucial element in his bedtime routine.
My partner and I have distinct parenting styles shaped by our personal experiences. I am a free-spirited individual that thrives on creativity and flexibility, often allowing Little Bear to roam and discover. On the other hand, my husband, a structured INTJ and a military brat, values routines and predictability. His insistence on a consistent bedtime routine often clashed with my desire for more freedom, which led to some resistance on my part.
While I struggled with bedtime logistics during my husband’s absence, he would frequently check in and ask how I was managing Little Bear’s sleep schedule. I thought his concerns were trivial at the time, but upon his return, I realized how much I had overlooked the importance of a consistent routine.
The first night he was back, the old schedule was reinstated, and I welcomed the relief. Little Bear had dinner at his designated table between six and seven, followed by a strict bedtime of 8 PM. The routine was straightforward, often involving a bedtime story, but mostly just a series of familiar steps: “Get a diaper, Little Bear,” my husband would say each night. Over time, this evolved into “Let’s go potty,” and after that, a goodnight routine involving hugs, kisses, and turning on his fan for white noise.
Initially critical of this structured approach, I soon recognized that my husband taking over the bedtime routine was his way of sharing the workload, allowing me some much-needed downtime. Little Bear thrived under this predictable routine, proving that his father’s involvement was just as significant as my own.
Our time apart made me realize how invaluable my partner’s role in the bedtime routine truly was. It reinforced that Little Bear doesn’t rely solely on me for comfort at night; his father had been a steady presence in this aspect of his life. As we prepare for the arrival of our second child, I look forward to how our family dynamics will evolve. Until then, I’m grateful for one less worry during this busy time.
For more insights into parenting and family life, check out this article. If you’re navigating a fertility journey, Make a Mom is an excellent authority on the subject. Additionally, for valuable information on pregnancy, visit Healthline.
Summary
The experience of my spouse taking over the bedtime routine illuminated the importance of his role in our child’s life. It not only gave me a break but also reinforced that our child thrives under a structured routine. As we await our second child, I look forward to how our family will adapt.