I genuinely like you, which is why I can’t invite you into my home. And no, it’s not because it’s a disaster. Unless… are you okay with it being a mess? Would that indicate my level of comfort with you? Would it show that my life is just as chaotic as yours? Maybe it’s a sign that I’m focusing more on creating memories with my family and less on maintaining appearances. Like you, I’m human and definitely not a perpetual cleaning machine.
Did you say yes to all of that? Well, guess what! That means you’re definitely not getting in! Because I have a little secret: my house isn’t messy at all. Not even a little. But don’t get me wrong—I’m not claiming to be more put together than you, nor am I trying to create an illusion.
The truth is, when my sink is overflowing with dishes or the laundry piles up, it feels like I can’t breathe. If I can’t breathe, trust me, nobody else wants to be around me. My anxiety ensures that.
Yes, I have rituals I perform morning and night, sometimes even in between. But I want you to know these routines are for my own peace of mind. I feel healthiest when my space is organized. When things aren’t in order, I feel overwhelmed, angry, and unproductive. The world starts to close in, and if I don’t tackle the chaos immediately, I panic, worrying that I’ll never catch up. When I’m scrubbing floors, I’m really cleansing my soul.
Is it strange that I feel happiest while inhaling bleach fumes and color-coding my closet? Maybe. But I promise I don’t have it all figured out—I have plenty of normal hobbies too. Believe it or not, there are days when I don’t brush my hair and wear pajamas all day.
You don’t need to hide your home from me just because mine is tidy. My anxiety is confined to my own space; yours doesn’t faze me at all. So, feel free to do what makes you comfortable, and I’ll stick to my routines. That’s the beauty of friendships—appreciating and loving one another despite our quirks.
As for making memories, don’t worry! My kids still enjoy all kinds of fun activities. Sure, we tackle things one bin at a time (just joking—mostly). We go on outdoor adventures, bake together, and craft (though glitter is a no-go). Most of the time, they don’t even notice me tidying up little messes behind them.
If you’d like to delve deeper into the intricacies of home dynamics, check out our post on understanding privacy policies. And if you’re curious about enhancing fertility, Make a Mom has some great insights. For additional support regarding pregnancy and home insemination, this resource is incredibly helpful.
Summary
In essence, my reluctance to let you into my home stems not from a messy space, but from a need for personal order that keeps my anxiety at bay. While I thrive in a tidy environment, I respect your comfort and encourage you to embrace your own quirks. Friendships flourish in the acceptance of our differences, and we all make memories in our unique ways.