I could hear the commotion outside—screams, laughter, and some unexpected thuds—but I didn’t think much of it. It was 7:45 AM, and I was on a frantic mission, darting in and out of the house trying to gather backpacks, swim gear, lunchboxes, and all the other essentials for the day. With three kids—an energetic 7-year-old and twin 5-year-olds—the task requires several trips to load up the van. And let’s not forget the constant reminders, threats, and my voice rising to new decibel levels as I shout at them to put on their shoes and get in the car.
This is our everyday norm—a chaotic whirlwind of activity. Unfortunately, the scene unfolding at the end of our driveway mirrored the delightful madness of our family life. The kids were wielding old badminton rackets, pretending to be superheroes taking down the garbage bin, which they imagined as a fearsome monster. Their playful antics quickly escalated as they yelled “DIE!” and “POW POW!” while tossing their rackets in sheer excitement. For the record, we strive to be a peaceful family, and I usually discourage such rowdy behavior, especially when it involves throwing things around.
Before 8:00 AM, and already at the peak of their mischief, I realized I could either take a deep breath and calmly intervene or embrace the inevitable chaos. So, I opted for the latter, channeling my inner ringmaster: “KNOCK IT OFF! Someone is going to get hurt, and I’m not dealing with that!” As I ducked to avoid a rogue racket, I grabbed one of them by the hand and ushered them into the car. “ENOUGH! Do you think our neighbor Joe wants to hear this? GET IN THE VAN!”
For clarity, Joe is our long-suffering neighbor who, bless him, probably wonders how he ended up next to our circus. I appreciate that some people prefer quieter environments, but our lively chaos has a way of spilling into every space we occupy. Believe me, I’ve tried various parenting methods, but the only thing that seems to resonate is my occasional outburst. While I can’t say I’ve fully accepted this reality, I’ve stopped fighting it.
In the past, I would feel immense anxiety before heading out in public or welcoming guests into our home, dreading how loud my kids could get. Their every word comes out like a shout, and I’d constantly plead with them to quiet down, which was exhausting. They’re just kids, after all—full of energy and excitement. So now, I let them be loud. We either go to family-friendly places or stay home. When guests arrive, they must either tune out the noise or tolerate it just as I do.
Recently, we took a flight to visit my in-laws, and I was filled with trepidation at the thought of being cramped in an airplane with my children. As I juggled three kids, carry-ons, and my much-needed coffee, I found myself letting go of the stress. Once they plugged into their tablets or the airplane’s entertainment system, they shouted over the sounds, demanded snacks, and proudly announced whenever they needed to use the restroom—usually when we were all buckled in. To my surprise, fellow passengers found them charming; I just felt overwhelmed. I also found myself annoyed with my partner, who was blissfully napping through the commotion.
I could have been kinder, but I insisted she wake up to help me. After two decades together, we’ve learned that snapping at each other is just part of being a couple and parents. During those sleepless nights with our twins, we had a rule: anything said between midnight and 6:00 AM didn’t count. Having three kids under three was nothing short of a challenge, and even now, although they’re older, it still demands a lot from us. We’re not always the picture of harmony, and our sighs and eye rolls often escape in public.
Our family life is akin to a circus—ice cream cones dropped, forgotten underwear tossed aside in restrooms, and an endless supply of snacks and gear piled onto our backs. But once I embraced this chaos, I noticed smiles from other parents and a sense of camaraderie among us. I realized that living life out loud is also about sharing love loudly. If our family is a traveling circus, then I’m proud to be part of it.
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Summary
Embracing the chaos of family life can transform a stressful situation into a joyful experience. This article reflects on the challenges of parenting three young children, the acceptance of loudness and chaos, and the realization that a life lived out loud can be filled with love and laughter.