Last night, I was really looking forward to dinner at my sister’s house. It felt like a rare treat to have someone else cook for us. Before we arrived, I gave my kids a little pep talk in the car about using their manners. Even though they’re older now, they still need a gentle reminder on how to behave as guests.
As soon as we sat down to enjoy the meal, the topic of bathroom habits came up. I shot my kids my best “you better knock it off” look, but they seemed unfazed, as if to say, “Nice try, Mom.” So, I had to use my words and firmly told them to stop. That lasted all of two minutes before they were at it again. Then my youngest decided to roll around on the floor, incessantly asking about dessert like it was the end of the world.
That was the moment I reached my limit. I raised my voice — and suddenly, they finally paid attention. My kids often ask me why I resort to yelling. When we’re out in public, I have no qualms about making my voice heard amidst the chaos they create. If they’re going to misbehave, I’m going to call them out on it, no matter how embarrassing it might be for them.
It’s baffling to me why parents often feel the need to lose their cool in order to be taken seriously. It seems like the only time my family listens is when my frustration reaches its peak, and I’m left wondering why it has to come to that. So much could be avoided — including my sore throat and their lost screen time — if they just followed instructions the first time. Or if they’d stop acting up as soon as I gave them “the look.”
Warnings seem to fall on deaf ears, and instead, we end up yelling to make our voices heard. Moms like me find ourselves repeating the same things and wondering why our families don’t grasp how to avoid triggering our frustrations. It would make everyone’s lives so much simpler if they didn’t send us from calm to furious in a matter of seconds.
No matter how many snacks or electronics I take away, or how many time-outs I enforce, the kids either forget or simply don’t care enough to change their behavior in the moment. Just a few weeks ago, after I made a scene in a store because my kids were acting out, I told them it seemed like they enjoyed it when I lost my temper. If they didn’t, they’d surely straighten up so we could avoid this ridiculousness.
They know, regardless of how loud I get, I ultimately come out on top. I don’t understand why they push me to my breaking point, making things harder for all of us. After 15 years of parenting, I remain hopeful they’ll have a light bulb moment and realize that life would be so much smoother if they just followed the rules. Until then, I’ll be here, losing my voice in the process.
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In summary, it can be frustrating when it feels like we have to lose our temper for our families to take us seriously. Despite the challenges, we hold onto the hope that our children will eventually understand the importance of listening and following directions the first time.