I can’t recall my 30th birthday. Perhaps it’s because it feels like a lifetime ago, or maybe it was just the effects of a few too many drinks. More likely, I wasn’t living with awareness or joy, making those days difficult to remember. On that day, my life was marked by selfishness, and I was left feeling hollow and broken.
As I prepare to welcome my 40s tomorrow, I reflect on the past decade with immense gratitude for the lessons learned during my 30s. These years brought me sobriety, new friendships, and a deeper sense of spirituality. I feel more vibrant than ever—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
My path has been uniquely mine, filled with struggles and heartache, but I wouldn’t alter a thing. As J.K. Rowling wisely said, “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” Through pain, I discovered invaluable lessons, and I’m thankful to have had the resilience to learn from them.
Here are the 30 lessons I’ve absorbed throughout this challenging yet rewarding journey:
- The power of gratitude is profound.
- It’s true—our noses continue to grow!
- When in doubt, toss it out. Don’t let clutter invade your space; simplify wherever you can.
- Worrying about finances (or anything else) doesn’t solve problems; it robs you of the present moment.
- People enter and exit our lives, but every farewell carries a lesson. Seek it out, document it, and embrace it.
- Raising your voice at kids does more harm than good.
- Compassion is a powerful tool.
- Empathy can be cultivated.
- The hours from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday are not the essence of life. Stressing over work is futile.
- Chuck the scale and indulge in chocolate guilt-free.
- Life is fleeting.
- If someone doesn’t reciprocate a hug, hold them a little tighter.
- A sincere apology is demonstrated through changed behavior, not just words.
- The only things I can manage are my own responses. Everything else is out of my hands.
- When faced with tough choices, pick the option that terrifies you the most. Fear is deceptive; challenge it with positivity.
- Choosing kindness never has negative consequences.
- Music is my sanctuary.
- What others think of me is not my concern.
- Self-pity is both unattractive and harmful.
- Somewhere, someone is facing a greater struggle than my own.
- Love is always the solution.
- Social media can be a time-consuming drain on energy.
- The best friends are those who hold you accountable.
- There’s a therapeutic aspect to binge-watching.
- Forgiveness is a choice that liberates you from resentment.
- Practice patience: wait a couple of days before making significant decisions.
- Stay true to yourself. Stop seeking others’ opinions on how to live your life. Honor your individuality and follow your intuition—there are no wrong choices when you do.
- Acceptance is the gateway to happiness. Embrace every person, situation, and place as they are. You can’t change them, so take a deep breath and accept the reality.
- Always fill your gas tank completely; skimping will leave you regretting it later.
- Learn from your past, live in the present, and trust that the best is yet to come.
This article was originally published on July 13, 2018.
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In summary, life is a journey filled with lessons, many of which come from hardship. Embracing these lessons can lead to personal growth and a fulfilling life, as I’ve learned through my own experiences.