My three sons were enjoying a sunny morning at the skatepark with their friend, D. They were riding their skateboards, having a great time—until two older boys showed up with their dad and grandmother. D’s mom and I cheered them on as they executed cool tricks, unaware of the impending conflict.
The atmosphere shifted when the grandmother approached my youngest son, Max, and D, and began scolding them. My older sons stood frozen in disbelief as we exchanged shocked glances. It was clear she was upset, but we couldn’t hear her exact words.
Once she returned to her seat, I decided it was time to confront her. “Excuse me,” I said firmly. “It seems you have an issue with my children.”
“They’re leaving their skateboards in the way and someone could trip on them,” she replied stiffly.
“Is it really your place to come over and reprimand them?” I asked, my voice rising. “Do you realize the child you chose to admonish is only four years old? He’s upset now because of your harsh words. Can you explain what made you think that was appropriate?”
“I was trying to teach him a lesson,” she sniffed, her lips pressed into a thin line. My frustration escalated.
“And you believe it’s your responsibility to educate him?” I pressed further.
The conversation only deteriorated from there, concluding with me making it clear that if she had concerns about my kids, she should address me directly, not them. I walked back to comfort Max, feeling furious.
I have had enough of meddlesome grandmothers, intrusive parents, and nosy bystanders who feel entitled to reprimand children. It’s not their place. If this is what the village looks like, I want nothing to do with it.
Instead, the interactions should be constructive. If Grandma Lisa had approached me with a respectful request, explaining her concern about the skateboard placement for safety reasons, I would have been open to discussing it. Sure, I might have thought she was being a bit overly cautious since her grandchildren were managing just fine, but we could have had a civil conversation.
A polite request would have fostered a sense of cooperation. If she had kindly asked the kids to move their boards, I would have supported her. Even if I disagreed with her approach, it wouldn’t have hurt to indulge her concern. She could have treated my children as human beings, deserving of kindness.
Had she made several polite requests before coming to me, I would have understood her frustration. I would have explained my son’s ADHD, which can cause forgetfulness. We could have navigated the situation like adults, and while it might have been a little awkward, it would have been manageable.
But it seems many prefer to shout at children instead of addressing adults, avoiding uncomfortable conversations with their peers. This is a troubling norm. It teaches kids that authority can be exerted based solely on age, which is not a lesson I want my children to learn.
I want my boys to know that they have my support, especially when someone like Lisa decides to scold them unreasonably. I want them to feel safe and secure in knowing that I will always have their backs.
The idea of a village resonates with me, but only when it means support and protection for children. It should be a community where kindness prevails, especially considering that children may have unseen challenges. The village shouldn’t chastise four-year-olds or single out children based on their appearance. If this is the kind of community we’re left with, I’m ready to disconnect from it.
While it saddens me to think of living in isolation, if the world is filled with people like Lisa, that’s the direction I’m heading.
For more insights on home insemination and parenting, check out this excellent resource on CDC’s ART and learn more about the home insemination kit.
In summary, the interactions between parents and children in our communities should be rooted in respect and kindness. When issues arise, addressing them with understanding and patience is crucial. The village should support its children, not intimidate them.