For as long as there have been stay-at-home parents, there have been those who question their choice.
I found myself in that position, knowing deep down that I needed to be a stay-at-home parent. I can vividly recall the moment that solidified my decision. Living in Alaska at the time, I went to pick up my children from daycare after a long day of work. As I chatted with the caregiver, my daughter Lila reached for her, as if that was where she felt safe and loved. In that instant, my heart sank; I realized I was just a visitor in my child’s life. That moment became a pivotal point in my journey.
As I drove home, tears streamed down my face. I am her parent, and I had to be there for her. After processing my emotions, I began to strategize. By working extra hours for a few months, we could pay off some debts, allowing me to transition into being a stay-at-home parent. When I shared my thoughts with my partner, there was no resistance—our path was clear. Once we left Alaska, my new role would be that of a full-time caregiver.
Thus began my journey as a stay-at-home parent. With a toddler and a baby, they needed my attention. We purchased our first home, which demanded my involvement. I even started couponing to contribute financially. Life was busy with school registrations, drop-offs, and potty training, but it felt fulfilling.
However, as my children transitioned to full-time school, I found myself questioning my purpose. I handled meal planning, ran errands, and occasionally brought lunch to my partner, but I felt insignificant. Was my worth determined by the mundane tasks I performed? The day my partner requested soap and I broke down in tears made me reevaluate everything.
I contemplated rejoining the workforce but quickly realized that it felt irrelevant. I want to set an example for my daughters—to encourage them to be independent and strong. When they express a desire to follow in my footsteps and care for their families, I am left feeling conflicted. I fear they might doubt their worth as I do.
My mother taught my sister and me to be resilient women who can stand on our own. I strive to do the same for my children, struggling to balance my own aspirations with my dedication to them.
After deep reflection, I recognized the true value of my role. I am present when my children are unwell or simply need comfort. I cherish the moments that many parents long for. Nevertheless, I often wonder how time slips away so quickly.
Being available matters, but so does being a role model. I’ve shown my daughters kindness, empathy, and how to maintain a loving home. I want to instill in them the importance of self-pride—selfishly, I desire them to be proud of their mother too.
Realizing the necessity of pursuing interests beyond motherhood, I decided to explore freelance writing and blogging. This decision proved transformative. I can write about my passions while being available for my family. The ability to share my thoughts and creativity has reignited my sense of purpose. Each day, I look forward to writing, my mind buzzing with fresh ideas.
As I compose this article, my children sit beside me, inspired to create their own “blogs.” My heart is full.