Last month, my partner had a vasectomy. Yes, he did. He’s officially decided to stop producing sperm, and I’m completely on board with this decision. While I waited in the clinic’s waiting area during his outpatient procedure (which I had been urging him to schedule for over a year), I experienced a whirlwind of emotions that could have landed me in a therapist’s office. It’s a big step, especially since it means no more newborn cuddles—something I cherish dearly. But I’m also someone who feels quite done with the whole pregnancy process. Here are some of the thoughts that crossed my mind during that time.
- At Last! Could he have taken any longer to schedule this appointment? I’ve been asking him to reach out to the doctor since I gave birth last January! How many reminders does he need? I didn’t want to attend my prenatal appointments either, but I went. And I certainly didn’t relish the thought of childbirth, yet I went through that three times. How hard can it be to make a phone call? Maybe he was worried something would go wrong. Wait, do they even remove anything critical? ::quickly looks up vasectomies with a shaky Wi-Fi connection::
- Goodbye Birth Control Pills! Hallelujah! Finally! No more remembering to take that little pill every night. I genuinely believe that years of hormonal birth control contributed to my mood swings, weight gain, and a myriad of other issues I’d rather not revisit. Consider those pills tossed out tonight!
- Will He Really Complain About Pain? I’ve given birth to three children. I endured stitches, not once, not twice, but three times in the same area. Without any pain relief! After my first delivery, I sat on a donut cushion for weeks. And let’s not even talk about the post-delivery bathroom experiences. I don’t want to hear him whine about discomfort. He should be grateful he can laugh or jog without any mishaps!
- No More Phantom Baby Kicks! You know that weird sensation of feeling a baby kick when you’re no longer pregnant? It’s disconcerting and makes you worry about unexpected surprises. I’m relieved to think those days are behind me.
- What if It Doesn’t Work? What if I somehow end up pregnant again? Is there a guarantee on this procedure? I wonder if I could ask the doctor without seeming paranoid. Several friends have told me stories about “vasectomy babies.” Why do I need to hear that? I thought it was supposed to be 99.9% effective… or was that 89%? Ugh.
- What Would a Fourth Baby Have Been Like? Would it have been a boy or a girl? What would their name be? I always found naming babies to be such a creative process. I’ll miss the perks of parking in the expectant mother’s spot at the grocery store. Gosh, that was convenient! Maybe I should ask the receptionist if I can intervene and stop the procedure… Just one more baby wouldn’t hurt, right?
- Do We Have Frozen Peas and Pain Relief? How painful is this procedure, really? Will he need assistance? I should have done more research. I believe there’s a pack of frozen peas in the freezer, but they’re probably buried under ice cream sandwiches. Now I’m hungry just thinking about it.
- Our Family is Complete… I Think? Yes, I’m sure it is. He’s been in there long enough, so it must be finished. I feel content with our three beautiful children. They all sleep through the night—what a blessing! I can’t imagine going through sleepless nights again. Three is definitely enough. I even had to buy a minivan! We’re not planning for a reality show. So yes, we’re done. Right?
- Yes, They Were Sleepless Nights. Absolutely, yes.
Making the choice for a vasectomy is significant for couples considering family planning. For more resources on pregnancy and home insemination, you can check out this excellent article on intrauterine insemination. And if you’re exploring options for home insemination, BabyMaker offers a variety of kits to assist you. Additionally, you can read our privacy policy for more information on how we handle your data here.
In summary, the journey through family planning is filled with various emotions and considerations. Whether it’s the relief of no longer using birth control, the anxiety about potential pregnancies, or the bittersweet feeling of closing the chapter on newborn cuddles, it’s a significant life event that many couples navigate together.