Updated: May 17, 2018
Originally Published: May 17, 2018
Disclaimer: This piece employs a touch of sarcasm.
Why did I decide to embrace a gluten-free lifestyle? Simply put, it brings me joy to perplex those around me. I thrive on the challenge of making special dietary requests during social gatherings, ensuring that everyone knows just how “difficult” I can be. But it’s not just about making life inconvenient for others; I also relish the opportunity to complicate my own existence.
Choosing a gluten-free diet is an excellent way to deny myself some of my favorite indulgences. Who wouldn’t miss warm, buttery bread, creamy pasta dishes, or fresh cinnamon rolls slathered in icing? Without gluten-free restrictions, I’d have no reason to endure this long-term self-denial, which only adds to the experience.
Furthermore, gluten-free products often come with a hefty price tag—usually four times that of their gluten-containing counterparts. As a single mom working part-time, this financial burden is particularly intriguing. I find myself grappling with my food budget, where $4 packs of regular spaghetti and $7 loaves of gluten-free bread highlight my fiscal challenges.
My son, Nathan, was a significant catalyst for this transformation (after the thrill of annoying others, of course). I felt a strong inclination to elevate the parenting challenge. By the time he turned three, I had figured out how to handle a spirited, opinionated child. Like many parents, I learned that parenting could sometimes feel simple. I craved a new obstacle.
Enter the gluten-free lifestyle. Children have this uncanny ability to require snacks wherever they go, which is a blessing in disguise. Now, I get to further complicate the lives of those around me by ensuring Nathan eats differently from his peers during snack time. This not only highlights his uniqueness but also allows him to stand out in social situations.
Additionally, I often find myself overwhelmed by the details—so requiring myself to prepare for every outing means I can count on occasional failures to pack snacks or treats. The resulting disappointment from Nathan serves as a reminder of my shortcomings in parenting, hopefully pushing me towards improvement in that area. #TotallyWorthIt.
If I’m being honest, the primary reason behind my gluten-free decision is that I am easily swayed by trends. I jumped on the Seattle Seahawks bandwagon as a child and have stubbornly clung to that allegiance ever since. So, when the gluten-free trend emerged, promising to complicate my life and double my grocery bill, I was intrigued. The fact that it could provoke annoyance in many acquaintances sealed the deal for me.
In conclusion, I am gluten-free.
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