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I Prefer My Dog Over My Kids
by Sarah Morgan
Updated: Aug. 15, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 14, 2021
Lately, I’ve been wrestling with a surprising thought that I never imagined I’d openly discuss: I might just enjoy the company of my dog more than that of my kids. Now, before you rush to alert the authorities, let’s clarify—I’m not saying I love my dog more than my children. This is purely a matter of compatibility, supported by the undeniable fact that my dog is consistently wonderful company, which is more than I can say for my kids.
Take, for instance, when I return home. My dog, Max, greets me with sheer joy. He doesn’t demand snacks or insist that I whip up dinner before I’ve even set down my bag. Instead, he wags his tail, eagerly waiting for a pat before curling up on his bed, content that I’m back and all is well in his world.
Max listens to my commands, often on the first attempt. If I say “come,” he bounds over. If I say “sit,” he sits without hesitation. There’s no need for me to repeat myself or resort to threats about losing screen time. One might think my kids would take a cue from this obedient behavior, but that’s a different story altogether. If only he could make their beds—I’d be tempted to give it a shot!
When Max rides in the car, he’s thrilled to join in instead of being left behind to watch us depart through the window. He doesn’t bombard me with questions about our destination or pester me to make pit stops along the way. I can listen to whatever music I want without him requesting I change the station to something more contemporary. Although I must admit, there are times when I cringe realizing I’m belting out “Maneater” by Hall and Oates alone in the car.
Dogs have a simple palate and never complain about their meals. The sound of Max’s food being served brings him unmeasurable excitement each time. This is a refreshing change from my kids, who have a relentless stream of complaints about anything that isn’t pizza, Chipotle, or McDonald’s.
Max only whines when it’s truly necessary—whether he’s hurt or needs to go outside. My children, on the other hand, whine for any reason, including temperature changes or just feeling bored. Plus, he can’t text me to whine from afar when I’m out. If he ever figured out how to call me, it would probably land him a spot on America’s Funniest Home Videos, and I’d easily overlook any of his misdeeds.
Max is the epitome of the ideal dog: friendly, predictable, and fiercely loyal. But there’s one thing he lacks—humanity.
The beautiful thing about my kids is their wonderfully flawed humanity. The unpredictability of raising children is both a blessing and a trial. Despite the fact that many days feel like they are meant for dogs, I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything. For anyone pondering similar sentiments, check out this insightful post on Cervical Insemination for more parenting discussions. And if you’re looking into home insemination options, Make a Mom offers reputable at-home insemination syringe kits. For a deeper dive into the process of IVF, Parents has an excellent resource.
In summary, while the companionship of a dog can often seem more appealing than that of children, it’s the unique quirks, growth, and love that kids bring into our lives that truly make parenthood a remarkable journey.
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