Life is undeniably filled with challenges and hardships. As Buddha and many wise thinkers have pointed out, suffering is part of the human experience. We all encounter rejection, loss, and moments when life seems unfair. It’s a universal truth that suffering is a significant aspect of our journey.
When Benjamin Franklin remarked that “nothing is certain except death and taxes,” he overlooked one crucial element: suffering. Although perhaps discussing taxes, death, and suffering together might be a bit heavy.
Everyone has their own tales of how life has dealt them a rough hand. These stories vary in severity but are universally relatable. Sharing these experiences can be comforting, helping us realize we are not alone in our struggles. My own upbringing was marked by divorce, financial hardship, and mental health challenges. Yet, it was also filled with love from my parents, a supportive community, and advocates who fought for what they believed in. Perspective plays a vital role in how we interpret our past.
I could recount my childhood in two distinct ways, both of which would hold validity. While acknowledging pain is essential, allowing it to define our identity is not.
Too often, I hear individuals recount their struggles, stopping at the point of lament without seeking change. Yes, we don’t choose the hand we are dealt, but we can certainly request new cards or make the most of what we have. What has become clear to me is that our perspective on challenges shapes who we are, rather than the challenges themselves.
Life is filled with suffering, but it’s also abundant in love and fleeting moments of joy. However, we often overlook these tiny treasures. Whether it’s the sound of our children laughing, a quiet moment spent reading, or enjoying a cup of coffee, these experiences matter. They occur daily, but it’s our responsibility to recognize and cherish them.
That said, I often feel a twinge of discomfort when people talk about “practicing gratitude.” To me, it seems like an unattainable ideal of constant happiness. My friend Alex tends to express his feelings in extremes, often claiming he’s in a state of “euphoric bliss.” Personally, I rarely experience bliss in such a profound way. However, I do have countless quiet moments of joy—like when my daughter unexpectedly hugs me or when I find my favorite snack in stock. Simple trips to the store, where I can browse adorable, reasonably-priced children’s clothes while sipping iced coffee, bring me happiness. I have a supportive partner who stands by me even when I falter, along with friends, books, art, and a quirky reality TV show.
These moments are beautiful but often go unnoticed until we actively seek them out. I’m trying to improve in this area. In our home, we practice a little exercise called “Three Positives,” where we jot down three good things that happened each day. It serves as a wonderful reminder to focus on the small joys in life. (I learned about this from a talk by a well-known figure, who mentioned it’s a simple yet effective method for transforming one’s outlook on life.)
As we mature, it’s common to mourn what we’ve lost. I often find myself reminiscing about carefree college days filled with friends, laughter, and endless freedom. College was indeed a remarkable time, but it wasn’t without its share of hangovers and heartbreaks. It’s easy to romanticize the past; our minds tend to gloss over the tough times (which is why many women choose to have more than one child). Society often portrays youth as the peak of our lives, but why should that be the only time we celebrate?
What if, in reality, our glory days are happening right now? Sure, I’m juggling the chaos of parenting with tantrums and laundry, and I might not look my best. But I am genuinely happy. I have young children who bring laughter and sweetness into my life. I’m in good health, and my family is alive and supportive, loving both me and my kids.
I recently saw a meme featuring a character from a popular show, wishing for a way to recognize when we are in our “good ol’ days” before they pass. It struck me that these moments are indeed my good days.
In truth, the glory days are not confined to a specific period in life; they emerge when we learn to appreciate our experiences and surround ourselves with those we love and who bring us joy. The time spent with my children, friends, and family is precious—these are my glory days, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
Except, I could really use a haircut.
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Summary
Life is a mix of challenges and joyful moments. While we often romanticize our past, it’s essential to recognize and appreciate the beauty in our current lives, surrounded by loved ones. Practicing gratitude through small daily reflections can enhance our awareness of life’s simple joys.