As I transitioned from my own childhood to raising my kids, I found myself discarding many of the traditional parenting methods I grew up with. Like many parents today, I adapted my approach to better fit our family’s needs. For instance, our household doesn’t have a designated head, as both my partner and I are often too tired to take on more responsibilities. Decisions are made collectively because there are multiple voices in our home. Everyone has to contribute, except for the baby, who is exempt because, well, he’s a baby—and the cats, who are just downright lazy.
Nevertheless, elements of parenting from the past occasionally resurface. Even with all our knowledge of what’s best, we recognize that we can’t always dictate our kids’ choices. As they grow, there are moments when we need to let them stumble and learn. If we’re constantly there to lift them, how will they learn to get back up on their own? (The baby, however, will always get picked up.)
Despite the differences in our upbringings, we’ve retained some classic parenting practices, such as:
- I Don’t Play with My Kids
My parents didn’t play with me much either; they were busy working. I learned to entertain myself or squabble with my sibling. Nowadays, I have too many tasks at hand to engage in playtime constantly. I may occasionally join in on games or crafts, but for the most part, we’ve got siblings for that purpose. - We Let Them Make Mistakes
Life is about making choices, and kids need to learn that every decision carries consequences. Whether it’s choosing an ice cream flavor or a toy, they have to own their selections. If they opt for black walnut and don’t like it, they must learn to accept the outcome. We step in only if a choice could lead to harm, like when a toddler thinks throwing a toy at the cat is a good idea. - Chores Are a Must
Chores aren’t just about earning an allowance; they’re about understanding responsibility. Even at a young age, our kids help out by tidying their playthings or assisting with simple tasks. They may not be perfect at it, but the goal is to instill the idea that nothing comes for free. - We’re Not Their Friends
We’re their parents first and foremost, and our role is to guide them. Sure, we enjoy fun times together, but our relationship isn’t about friendship—it’s about teaching and leading. When they hit adulthood, then we can chat about being friends, unless they’re still living at home, of course. - No Quitting Allowed
Commitment is crucial. Once they start something, they need to finish it—whether that’s a sports activity or even a snack they requested. - Owning Up to Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s vital to acknowledge them. I teach my kids to admit when they’re wrong and apologize, and I do the same when I mess up. Setting a good example is key. - Follow Through on Consequences
If I say they’ll go to bed for fighting, then they go to bed if the fighting doesn’t stop. Life has rules, and they must learn to navigate them. - Encouraging Independence
I adore my kids’ dependence on me, but they won’t be little forever. I guide them in becoming self-sufficient, helping them get dressed or tie their shoes without doing it all for them. - Letting Them Resolve Conflicts
I believe in teaching conflict resolution through example. I can’t always mediate their disputes, and it’s important they learn to work things out on their own. - Respecting Others
Diversity exists, and respecting others is essential. Everyone has a right to their views, and embracing differences can lead to enriching experiences. - Family Time Matters
We prioritize family meals and outings, like our annual trip to Dairy Queen. These moments help us stay connected and foster lasting memories. - The Value of Hard Work
It’s tempting to give kids everything they want, but they need to understand the satisfaction that comes from working for something. Achievements are far more rewarding when they come from effort.
In the end, whether you lean towards old-school, new-school, or even home-school techniques, what truly counts is the effort you put into parenting. We want our kids to learn the realities of life, like the idea that they can’t just swap out their choices without consequences. It’s all about responsibility—everyone has to contribute, except the lazy cats.
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Summary
Parenting can be a mix of old-school wisdom and modern adaptability. By instilling responsibility, fostering independence, and prioritizing family time, we guide our children to navigate life’s challenges. It’s essential to embrace the ups and downs, ensuring that our kids grow into capable individuals.