They often say that friendships require nurturing, much like plants; without care, they can wither away. But is it possible for a friendship to endure solely through text messages, especially when that has been the norm from the start?
I met you during a particularly challenging phase in my life, while you were celebrating an exciting new chapter—your journey into motherhood. You were eight months pregnant and preparing for maternity leave when my boss invited me to your work baby shower. Although I was tied up in a meeting and couldn’t attend, I contributed to your gift. Just before you left work, you sent me an email expressing your gratitude. We had shared the same office space for years without truly connecting. You recognized me as the office admin, and I knew you were part of XYZ’s team. Our interactions had mostly been limited to scheduling meetings, but you were always kind to me.
That night, feeling particularly down, I received my first text from you: “Hi! It was wonderful talking today. I hope your day was good. Thank you again for the gift; it really made my farewell memorable.” That message lifted my spirits. We began a back-and-forth conversation that lasted for hours, quickly evolving into daily exchanges. My phone became an extension of myself, constantly buzzing with our conversations, providing me with solace in difficult times.
Months later, after your daughter was born, you visited me at work for a brief yet appreciated catch-up. You supported me through my breakup via text, introduced me to my current husband, and helped me plan renovations for my home—all from afar. I attended your child’s first birthday and celebrated your special days as well.
Fast forward six years: we still text every day, but actual meet-ups have become a rarity. I’ve made countless attempts to arrange gatherings—barbecues, movie dates, lunches, even simple walks in the mall—but each time, something comes up for you, leading to cancellations.
There was even a stretch of six months when our texts halted, ironically coinciding with my own pregnancy. The breaking point occurred when you texted me just three minutes before my baby shower, saying, “I’m so sorry, I can’t make it!” I was taken aback and chose not to respond—partly because I was busy and partly because I couldn’t fathom why you would do that to me. I never received your gift or any follow-up message about how the day went, and it felt disheartening.
Shortly after my son was born, I received another text from you, and just like that, our daily chats resumed as if no time had passed. When you announced your second pregnancy, I was eager to support you and was the first to RSVP to your baby shower. Yet, when I suggested we meet for lunch to catch up, you canceled last minute.
It’s become a pattern. Whenever I invite you to small gatherings or events, you find reasons to decline. I’ve seen you out with others, enjoying life, which makes me question why I’m left waiting. While I understand that motherhood keeps us both busy, I can’t help but feel disrespected by the constant cancellations.
So here I stand, accepting that our friendship may only exist in the form of daily texts rather than real-life interactions. I’ve put in the effort to nurture this relationship, but it seems I can’t keep investing in plans that never materialize. Some events have been deeply meaningful to me, and I’ve reached a point where I refuse to chase after a friendship that isn’t reciprocated.
I appreciate the daily texts, but my attempts to meet up have lessened. I’ve done my part by tending to this friendship, and now it’s your turn to step up.
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Summary:
Friendships require effort, and while texting daily can foster a connection, it may not suffice in maintaining a meaningful relationship. The author recounts how a once-supportive friendship has devolved into a one-sided texting scenario filled with canceled plans and unmet expectations.