One evening, I was out on a date with my husband, and suddenly he got a bloody nose while driving. His eyes were darting around, and he looked like he had a stiff neck. I rolled my eyes, knowing what was coming. “Oh no, my nose is bleeding!” he exclaimed as he pulled into a parking lot and asked me to dash inside for some toilet paper while he reclined in the driver’s seat, lights off.
“Seriously, we’re like 40 spaces away from the store, and it’s pitch black! Can’t you park any closer?” I replied.
“No, I don’t want anyone to see me. Hurry!” he insisted.
“Try dealing with bleeding from your vagina every month, buddy,” I shot back, slamming the door. PMS was in full swing, and crying over a bloody nose was not on the agenda.
Do I experience intense PMS? Absolutely. Just ask my family, and they’ll tell you:
I Don’t Share Food.
As moms, we’re typically used to sharing — especially food, which always tastes better off our plates. But my kids have learned that when I have PMS, sharing is off the table. I devour everything in sight, snagging candy from their secret stash and munching on chips while we wait in line. It embarrasses them, but I remind them that they used to throw tantrums in public, so they can handle a little snacking drama.
I Cry a Lot.
When a sentimental commercial airs? Tears. One of my kids decides to share their last cookie? Waterworks. My husband does the laundry? Cue the sob fest. A nostalgic 90s song plays on the radio? Forget it. We go through boxes of tissues, and I have special waterproof mascara just for this emotional rollercoaster of a week.
Everyone Drives Me Crazy.
And I mean everyone. If you look at me the wrong way, I might just give you both middle fingers. Shopping during PMS? Bad idea. If clothes don’t fit, I’m ready to wrestle them. If someone chews loudly nearby, they better watch out. And if Caillou appears on the screen, I might lose it entirely.
I Apologize Constantly.
While I believe we shouldn’t have to apologize excessively — especially as women and mothers — I know I can be a total grump during this time. So, I find myself saying sorry to my family. It seems fair, especially after all the times I don’t share food, give them the stink eye, or require them to flee when they sense my mood shifts. But one thing I will never apologize for is my disdain for Caillou.
I think we’ve earned the right to have our moods, the right to hoard snacks, the right to cry at every commercial, and the right to expect someone to pass the tissues. We live through it monthly; we feel the pain, and trust me — we don’t enjoy it any more than you do. So, let’s just take a moment to relax, rub my feet, and let me indulge in some ice cream.
For more insights on navigating the complexities of pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on infertility. And if you’re looking for ways to boost fertility, you can find helpful tips here.
Summary:
PMS can be a challenging time for many women, and it’s often misunderstood by those around them. This article humorously outlines the various ways PMS affects daily life, including food hoarding, emotional outbursts, and the need for frequent apologies. The author emphasizes the importance of understanding and compassion during this time, and the piece serves as a light-hearted reminder that everyone deserves a little grace when dealing with hormonal changes.