When I relocated to Northern California six years ago, I was thrilled by the prospect of enjoying mild weather, being near my future partner, and savoring quality wine at every gathering. However, I was unprepared for the community’s fervent love for the great outdoors.
Sure, we live close to stunning beaches, majestic mountains, and serene lakes, but let’s face it—there are bugs. And microclimates. One moment, I’m stepping out in a comfortable skirt and tank top, only to find myself five minutes later in need of jeans and a windbreaker. How can I appreciate nature when I can’t even figure out how to dress for it?
My family thrives on outdoor adventures. My partner is always eager for a hike and enjoys camping, while my daughter is constantly asking me to take her skiing. I feel guilty denying her the joy of tumbling on snowy hills, but the cold is simply not for me. When temperatures drop below 72 degrees, I become unwell. I once thought I got sun poisoning while playing golf with my partner!
I can’t swim and I flee from ants. It’s probably best for everyone if I remain indoors, where I can avoid discomfort.
Despite accepting my identity as an indoor mom, it can still be challenging. I dread letting my family down when I decline their outdoor plans, making me appear unsociable in a community that adores outdoor activities. I strive to balance turning down invitations with pushing through my discomfort, hoping to maintain a fair ratio.
Being a mom who prefers the indoors also means that when my daughter has playdates, they occur inside too. As much as I dislike hiking, I’d rather host the kids at my house with snacks and television than chase someone else’s child in the woods. Noise and chaos are tolerable as long as I can stay within the cozy confines of my home.
There are exceptions, of course. I do enjoy the beach—lying on the sand with a good book is my idea of paradise. Yet, even that can turn sour. Last summer in Hawaii, I was enjoying the sun when I spotted a family of sand crabs nearby. That was enough to keep me from the beach for the rest of my trip; I opted for a chair by the pool instead, which felt just fine.
In the past, my partner and daughter would express disappointment when I said no to outdoor activities. I felt like a terrible mom and partner. I even worried that my indoor preference could deter my daughter from embracing new experiences or hinder her compared to her friends.
However, as I get older, I recognize the countless sacrifices I make for my family daily. If I prefer to avoid swatting flies while I eat, sleeping on the ground in a sleeping bag, or dealing with sore feet after a woodland walk, that’s my choice. They can enjoy these adventures without me.
If I were neglecting my family’s needs or refusing to engage entirely, that would be a matter for concern. Instead, I’m simply a woman who knows what she enjoys, and most of it is found within my home. I won’t impede my family from enjoying snowy ski trips or rugged camping excursions. I’ll simply keep the couch warm until they return.
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Summary:
Being an indoor mom comes with its own set of challenges and rewards. While I prefer the comfort of my home over outdoor activities, I’ve learned to embrace my choices and prioritize my family’s happiness. I’ll continue to support their outdoor adventures while enjoying my indoor haven.