By: Jamie Carter
If my uterus could talk, it would probably echo with a blue hue and a hint of mischief. Why? Because I’ve become the proud mother of four rambunctious boys. Prior to this journey, I was a firm believer in all things feminine. Think makeup, chic shoes, and the occasional fruity cocktail. The thought of bugs or dirt made me cringe.
However, being a mom to boys is a transformative experience. While you don’t have to abandon your feminine side—it’s actually crucial to maintain a bit of that essence—raising boys presents unique challenges that require some adaptability. So, whether you’re expecting a son or already navigating the boyhood phase, here are ten things to consider as you embark on this wild ride.
1. Embrace Bath Time
And when I say “bath time,” I’m not envisioning a serene bubble bath for yourself. No, it’s all about the chaos of giving baths. Boys often need more baths than you’d expect. Get ready for splashes, a perpetual wet-dog scent, and countless towels in the laundry. When they start showering independently, be prepared for the lingering odor of soap that mysteriously disappears. Unless you’re there reminding them, “Use soap! Everywhere!”
2. Find Humor in Farts
Fortunately, I’ve always had a knack for toilet humor, which helps when dealing with boys and their fascination with flatulence. It’s crucial to join in their laughter rather than trying to stifle it. However, a gentle reminder about appropriate times for such antics—like avoiding them during a solemn family dinner or quiet moments—is a good strategy. Even if it’s not your style, you’ll need to accept that farts will be a frequent topic of conversation.
3. Prepare for Ongoing Toilet Battles
From the moment I learned I was having a boy, I was determined to instill proper toilet etiquette. Yet, despite my best efforts, there’s always something amiss. One remembers to put the seat down but forgets to flush. Another flushes but neglects to close the lid. And let’s not even discuss the challenges of aim. The constant reminders to “flush! Sit down! Close the lid!” can be exhausting, especially when you’re the one stuck cleaning up.
4. Rethink Your Safety Standards
Let’s clarify: I’m not advocating for reckless behavior. However, if you’re the type of mom who sanitizes everything and gasps at minor tumbles, you might need to adjust your mindset. Boys tend to be adventurous, leaping off, climbing up, and tackling everything in sight. They’re curious creatures, often tasting things you’d never imagine—like dirt or outdated candy. If you have multiple boys, expect a heightened level of chaos. Stock up on Band-Aids and turn a blind eye now and then for your own sanity.
5. Expect the Unexpected Drama
Contrary to popular belief, boys can be just as dramatic as girls. The stomping, eye-rolling, and exaggerated outbursts can be quite theatrical. Whether it’s over not being allowed to use your favorite headphones or a heated discussion about video game rankings, don’t be fooled into thinking boys are drama-free. They can express their feelings with flair, which might surprise you.
6. Get Ready for Messes
The state of my home often drives me to distraction. Boys have a knack for tracking in mud, spilling food, and leaving a trail of chaos wherever they go. It’s not for lack of instruction; I spend a significant amount of time reminding them about cleanliness. However, with multiple boys and their friends, the mess multiplies exponentially. It’s a reality check for any parent.
7. Stock Up on Food
In those early years, I mistakenly believed my boys wouldn’t be big eaters. Then came the realization that my little ones could devour breakfast like they hadn’t eaten in days. My fridge is practically a revolving door, constantly raided for snacks. Grocery bills can be overwhelming as they quickly outgrow portion sizes. I can only imagine the teenage years ahead—yikes!
8. Be Prepared for Worn-Out Jeans
It’s astonishing how quickly boys can destroy a sturdy pair of jeans. Denim, often deemed indestructible, faces a fierce battle against crawling, climbing, and all sorts of rough play. Despite the tough exterior, they seem to be no match for the active lifestyle of young boys.
9. Get Comfortable with Nudity
From the moment they can undress themselves, expect to see a lot of skin. Once home from school, my boys shed their clothes faster than you can blink. Occasionally, they opt for only underwear—or nothing at all. This is a reality you’ll need to embrace as part of the journey.
10. Accept “The Grab”
Let’s address the elephant in the room: boys and their tendency to grab their private parts. It starts at infancy and doesn’t really stop. Whether in the bath or lounging on the couch, they’ll reach for it without a second thought. You’ll find yourself saying things like, “Stop that!” more often than you’d like. Over time, it becomes just another part of the daily routine.
In summary, being a mom to boys is a wild ride filled with laughter, chaos, and an abundance of love. Embracing the messiness and unpredictability while holding onto a bit of your feminine grace is crucial. If you’re looking for more insights on this journey, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.