Updated: July 23, 2020
Originally Published: May 30, 2015
Throughout my life, I’ve found myself captivated by the topic of sex. As an everyday housewife from North Carolina, I didn’t quite resonate with the themes of Fifty Shades of Grey, yet the allure of sexuality has always intrigued me. It seems that as a society, we’re all nudged to think about it, reflect on it, and make choices regarding it at every juncture of our lives.
In discussions with my circle of friends, I’ve come to realize we all share similar curiosities and questions about this often-taboo subject. Here are the ten phases of sexual fascination that many women experience:
Phase 1: Childhood – The Curious Giggles
In our early years, we begin to understand the concept of sex. Sex education classes introduce us to the biological process, and we can’t help but giggle at the mention of words like “penis” and “breast.” Lunch tables become arenas for silly jokes, and we revel in our newfound knowledge.
Phase 2: Adolescence – The Mysterious Whispers
During our teenage years, we shift our focus to who among us is actually engaging in sexual activities. It feels foreign and somewhat forbidden. We observe our peers who are more sexually active, wondering what the repercussions might be: Do they face judgment? Are they in danger? Are they prepared for the consequences?
Phase 3: The Teen Years – The Countdown to First Times
The anticipation of our first sexual encounter becomes an obsession. We ponder questions like: Does he truly care for me? Is he “The One”? How will this change my life? The weight of potential pregnancy and parental knowledge looms large, filling our minds with anxiety.
Phase 4: College Life – New Challenges and Concerns
In college, our sexual obsessions expand. We grapple with whether it’s feasible to engage in sex while sharing a cramped living space and consider the serious issue of consent amidst the party culture. The fear of date rape and horror stories circulate, yet our minds remain preoccupied with the topic.
Phase 5: Adulting – The ‘Sex and the City’ Dilemma
As we navigate adulthood, we often find ourselves identifying with characters like Samantha or Charlotte. Are we having too much or too little sex? Questions about our sexual performance and compatibility arise, leaving us anxious and uncertain.
Phase 6: Newlywed Bliss – The Baby Countdown
At the onset of marriage, it feels liberating to engage freely in sex. However, this bliss is short-lived as the focus quickly shifts to conceiving. Every intimate moment becomes a calculation, an item on the to-do list: “We must have sex tonight!” becomes a text sent early in the morning.
Phase 7: Pregnancy – Navigating New Territory
Pregnancy introduces a whirlwind of emotional challenges surrounding sex. Questions abound: Is it safe to have sex? What about the baby? Can sex really help induce labor? Navigating these thoughts is a complex journey.
Phase 8: Postpartum – The Waiting Game
After childbirth, many women worry about when they can resume sexual activity, how to manage discomfort, and the potential feelings of neglect towards their partners. With support from friends and resources, we learn to navigate this transitional phase.
Phase 9: The Peak Years – A Confounding Reality
We’re told these are our prime sexual years, yet many find themselves questioning if they’re truly experiencing that peak. We wonder if we’re engaging in enough sex, if our encounters are exciting, and whether we still feel desirable. The mental gymnastics can be exhausting.
Phase 10: Menopausal Sex – A New Challenge
Recently, I came across an advertisement indicating that sex during and after menopause can be painful. After years of grappling with sexual thoughts, the prospect of discomfort is disheartening. Fortunately, I have some time before menopause arrives, and I’m determined to reclaim my sexual joy.
This life has been filled with endless contemplation about sexual matters, and it’s time to embrace and enjoy it fully.
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In summary, our lives are marked by evolving phases of sexual fascination, each bringing its own set of questions and challenges. Rather than allowing these thoughts to consume us, let’s embrace the journey and focus on enjoying every moment.
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