It’s time we brought to light one of the lesser-known truths of womanhood: perimenopause. This often-overlooked stage occurs just before menopause, when the challenges of “the curse” intensify. While menopause itself is widely recognized (and dreaded), many women remain unaware that they are experiencing perimenopause until they find themselves in the thick of it—much like a stain on a favorite shirt or an unexpected invitation to join a multi-level marketing scheme.
I first encountered the notion of perimenopause in a roundabout way. Back in my twenties, I was working at a production studio when a fortysomething client shared a rather awkward story with us. At a business dinner surrounded by men, she suddenly felt the impending arrival of Aunt Flo. Completely unprepared, she frantically sought help from the men at the table and even the restaurant manager, only to be met with their horror at the mention of female anatomy.
“Ladies,” she exclaimed, arms open in desperation, “you know how it is when you feel it coming? How crucial it is to find what you need before IT arrives?”
My colleague and I exchanged puzzled looks, realizing we were expected to relate to her plight, but we had no clue what she was talking about. Her question lingered in the air like an awkward silence. Eventually, I shrugged, while my coworker maintained her professional smile. After she left, I turned to my partner, bewildered. “Was she just discussing her period?” I asked.
“Yup,” she replied, rolling her eyes.
Back then, my menstrual cycle was unpredictable, lacking the dramatic flair that comes with age. Now, as I approach my mid-40s, I can empathize with my former client. The urgency she described regarding a certain monthly visitor is all too familiar.
That client was clearly navigating the waters of perimenopause, a concept I didn’t grasp until much later. It’s often a topic shrouded in silence. We tend to avoid discussing periods after our teenage years; we use euphemisms like “Aunt Flo,” “the monthly friend,” or my personal favorite, “shark week.” God forbid we casually mention the term “menstrual cycle” in conversation—people might just freeze in horror. Even marketers tiptoe around the subject in advertisements for menstrual products.
When I mentioned I was writing about perimenopause to my husband, his response was, “Great! And I’m going to write a post about my itchy ball sack.” Such a poet, right?
Perimenopause is like a symphony that crescendos with increasing intensity: louder, bigger, and undeniably more ridiculous. WebMD defines perimenopause as the transitional phase leading up to menopause, triggered by a decrease in estrogen production. Here are some of the delightful symptoms that accompany this journey:
- Hot flashes
- Breast tenderness (and maybe droopiness?)
- Intensified PMS
- Lower libido
- Discomfort during sex
- Fatigue (hello, crankiness!)
- Irregular periods
- Vaginal dryness
- Urine leakage when coughing or sneezing
- Urinary urgency (“I need to go, now!”)
- Mood swings
- Sleepless nights
Interestingly, WebMD omitted one glaring symptom: the return of teenage acne, often around the jawline and neck. A friend once lamented that it was unfair to have both wrinkles and breakouts. But hey, at least one part of you still has a youthful glow—unless, of course, you’re among those who get it on their backs or chests.
The unfortunate truth is that this is just the beginning. Menopause lurks around the corner, and while it can last a few months or even up to a decade, it typically appears in our 40s, sometimes even in our 30s. For many of us, the word “menopause” feels foreign, as if it only happens to others.
Yet, undeniable symptoms—especially mood swings and fatigue—have become part of my reality. I recently found myself ready to argue with my son over a Star Wars plot point. Thankfully, I managed to take a moment for myself before I lost my cool over something so trivial.
If you’ve felt just as blindsided by perimenopause, share this post on your social media. Embarrass your younger coworkers with your candid tales of womanhood. Inspire your male friends to delve into their own uncomfortable topics. It’s time to shed light on the hidden realities of womanhood, including perimenopause. And remember, laughter is the best medicine—just not too hard, because, well, you know… urine leakage.
For those looking for more guidance, check out this resource on pregnancy and home insemination, or if you’re considering at-home options, visit Cryobaby for their reputable insemination kits. And for further exploration of related topics, take a look at this blog post.
In summary, perimenopause is a topic that deserves our attention and understanding. By discussing it openly, we can support one another through this often-overlooked stage of life.
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