In December, during my ninth month of pregnancy with my first child, I faced my greatest fear. On a quiet Sunday evening, my partner, Alex, went to the grocery store for some essentials. Out of nowhere, a drunk driver barreled towards our compact Honda, swerving at the last moment to crash into a nearby hedge. Then, shockingly, the driver began to back up—directly towards Alex, who managed to reverse just in time. Fortunately, the driver was apprehended, but Alex was visibly shaken. Upon hearing this harrowing account, I collapsed in tears.
This incident struck at the heart of my deep-seated anxiety—the profound fear that plagues many of us who struggle with anxiety disorders. The truth is, I dread cars, and I suspect I share this feeling with countless others. Yes, we drive and allow our loved ones to drive, but there’s always that gnawing fear that accompanies every departure, a dread masked by strained words of caution and one more “I love you.” We cling to those last moments, hoping it’s not the final goodbye.
If they’re late returning home, panic sets in. We begin making frantic calls. When those calls go unanswered, anxiety creeps in, weaving through our minds and stomachs. We envision the worst—our loved ones in a tragic accident, the flashing lights of police cars, and the haunting image of them slumped over the steering wheel. I can’t help but imagine my children’s shoes left behind in the grass of a deserted roadside.
By the time our loved ones arrive home, frazzled from traffic or work delays, we’re often left trembling with fear. Our reactions can vary from overwhelming relief to tears or even anger. Because, let’s face it, cars are terrifying.
Our minds know the statistics: you’re more likely to die in a car accident than in a plane crash, terrorist attack, or assault. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reported 32,675 fatalities due to car accidents in the U.S. in 2014 alone, with nearly a third linked to alcohol. Over 2.34 million people were injured in crashes, with the CDC noting that 2.5 million were treated in emergency rooms for crash-related injuries. Those of us living with anxiety are acutely aware of these figures, and they haunt us every time we bid farewell to our loved ones or strap our children into their car seats.
We are the ones who constantly check our mirrors and scan the road before changing lanes. We refuse to switch songs until we come to a stop. High speeds terrify us, especially in states where the speed limits seem more like suggestions. We avoid distractions while driving, whether it’s refraining from reaching back to our kids or rummaging through our bags on the highway. Our vigilance is a desperate attempt to exert control over the uncontrollable.
Just last week, a friend’s vehicle was struck by a drunk driver. Yesterday, another car nearly merged into me on the interstate. My husband faced a close call on his way home from work, where a vehicle almost collided with his side. These scenarios are reminders of the lack of control we face; we can’t prevent these accidents from happening unless we keep our loved ones out of cars entirely. Ultimately, it’s this lack of control that instills the deepest fear—the dread that we or our loved ones could be taken from us in an instant, without warning.
Managing Overwhelming Feelings
So, how do we manage these overwhelming feelings? First, it’s essential to recognize that this fear isn’t just about cars; it’s about the fear of losing control. It’s about the inability to predict or manage every aspect of our lives. This unpredictable loss is what we truly need to confront, rather than fixating on the metal machines racing down the roads. Next, we must learn to let go of this control, potentially with the guidance of a skilled therapist.
Dr. Amy Johnson suggests that we practice surrendering, acknowledging that the universe can be a friendly place, and that releasing our fears can lead to a sense of freedom. Others recommend engaging in grounding activities, such as taking a walk or connecting with friends, which can help bring us back to the present moment. Imagery, affirmations, and reaching out for support can also be beneficial strategies, reminding us that we are not alone in this struggle.
You are not alone. It’s important to understand that when it comes to channeling anxiety into a fear of vehicles, many others share your experience. This recognition can be a starting point for healing.
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In summary, the fear of cars is often rooted in a deeper anxiety about losing control. By acknowledging this and taking steps to address our feelings, we can begin to find ways to cope and reclaim our sense of safety.