Recently, before the devastating news of a school shooting in Florida emerged, I stumbled upon a discussion in a parenting group. Some parents suggested dealing with a toddler’s biting by retaliating with a bite back, flicking their mouths, or even using hot sauce. This response to a typical and challenging behavior—biting—was not one rooted in nurturing or empathy, but rather in inflicting pain and punishment.
Soon after, the tragic news from Florida began to unfold, revealing images of frightened teenagers hiding under desks and evacuating schools, hands raised in surrender, as the death toll climbed with each news update. Like many others, I spent that day reflecting on the pervasive issue of violence in our society—the mass shootings, domestic abuse, toxic masculinity, and rape culture.
Five years ago, while pregnant with my son, I sat at my desk, tears streaming down my face, as I watched coverage of the Sandy Hook tragedy. As I prepared to welcome a child into a world capable of such horrors, I felt overwhelmed. Now, five years later, pregnant with my daughter, I again found myself glued to my screen, witnessing terrified children fleeing school, past the bodies of their peers.
Despite the passage of time, the situation has only worsened, with over 400 individuals shot in more than 200 school shootings since then. This leads me to a critical question for fellow parents: How can we be surprised by the increasing number of violent, emotionally troubled individuals when our society still embraces practices that expose children to violence from an early age?
I’m not suggesting a simplistic viewpoint like “spanking leads to school shootings,” as that oversimplifies a complex issue. However, when we respond to a frustrated eighteen-month-old with hitting or shaming, we set a troubling precedent. We communicate that the world is unsafe, that even their caregivers may not be trusted, and that expressing emotions equates to violence.
The child who experiences retaliation for biting may grow into a three-year-old punished for accidental misbehavior, then a six-year-old who learns to hide mistakes to avoid punishment. Eventually, this child matures into a teenager equipped with the knowledge of how to navigate behaviors to avoid consequences, yet lacking an understanding of moral reasoning built through empathy and patient guidance.
I’m not here to preach against spanking; rather, I recognize that the way we respond to our children’s behavior is a form of communication. Children are not inherently “bad” or simply trying to annoy us; their actions convey messages. When we resort to punishment without seeking to understand their feelings, we miss opportunities to connect and support their emotional development.
By engaging with our children, regardless of their age, we teach them to manage their emotions and work through conflicts without resorting to aggression. As we continue to debate the causes of our violence epidemic—whether it be gun control, mental health, or media influence—we must also look inward.
Tonight, take a moment to consider your interactions with your children. Reflect on the implicit messages you may be sending about their worth, safety, and the trust they place in you as a caregiver. Your actions today shape their perceptions of the world and influence who they will become.
For more insights on parenting and child development, you can explore posts like those on intracervicalinsemination.com. Additionally, Make A Mom offers valuable resources for enhancing fertility, which may be beneficial for those considering home insemination. For further guidance on reproductive health, check out this excellent resource on WebMD.
In summary, fostering a nurturing and empathetic environment for our children is crucial in combating the cycle of violence in society. By focusing on communication and understanding, we can help shape a better future.