It’s 3:37 a.m., and I find myself cradling my five-year-old in my lap, enveloped in the dim light of our living room. He’s shirtless and trembling, his birdlike shoulder blades pressing against each other as he signs “more” to my off-key rendition of Paul Simon’s “Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes.” My tuneless singing seems to bring him some comfort, which is all I can muster to avoid calling our pediatrician’s emergency line.
His bare feet rhythmically tap against my shins, a sweet gesture if only I didn’t understand it came from the tremors that have taken over his little body. “Please, God, let this not be the flu,” I silently plead, as he coughs with a deep, phlegmy sound resembling that of an elderly man.
Just last week, a 33-year-old man from our town succumbed to the flu. If a healthy adult can fall victim, what chance does my vulnerable child, who has cerebral palsy and still puts everything into his mouth, stand? I stop singing, the weight of my fears settling on me.
He curls up against my chest, sucking on the edge of his blanket when my husband walks in from the kitchen with the Motrin. We gently lift him as if adjusting a chair, and he accepts the medication and some water. I can’t bear the thought of leaving him alone in his room, even with the baby monitor nearby.
So far, there’s been no vomiting or diarrhea—symptoms I’ve read are common in flu cases among children. I say “read” because, naturally, I turned to Google when I first noticed his shakiness and increased startle reflex while dressing him for bed. I can’t shake the image of that man’s young son, and I wonder how he’s coping.
As I reflect on the barrage of comments from other parents on Facebook—the urgent warnings to rush to a doctor for Tamiflu, the cautionary tales of side effects, and the insistence on preventive measures—I realize that I’m not alone in my panic. The anxiety levels have risen, not just for me, but for many parents grappling with the flu season. The frantic posts, the hand sanitizers tucked into pockets, and the readiness with wipes are all signals of a shared fear: the dread of watching a child become ill.
It’s harrowing to witness your child endure something that you can only mitigate, not cure. The uncertainty feels like a slow torture. However, as I glance at the clock for what feels like the hundredth time and brush my lips against his forehead to check his temperature, I recognize that I am part of a larger community of anxious parents, all waiting for our children to return to their vibrant, healthy selves.
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Summary:
As parents face the challenges of flu season, the anxiety and uncertainty can be overwhelming. This article reflects on the shared experiences of worrying about sick children and emphasizes the importance of community and available resources for support.