As someone who has battled depression and anxiety throughout my life, I was particularly susceptible to postpartum depression (PPD). After having three children, I faced varying degrees of PPD with each one. My first experience involved postpartum anxiety, marked by frequent visits to the doctor over every minor symptom. Following my second child, I dealt with what could best be described as mild postpartum depression, often referred to as the “Baby Blues.” With my third, it escalated into an overwhelming cycle of guilt and shame.
Throughout these experiences, one constant remained: the reactions from those around me. “It’s just hormones. You should feel grateful!” While I understand they meant well, these words stung every single time.
In our society, new mothers often feel dehumanized. Expressions of exhaustion are met with laughter and reminiscences about how “every mother goes through it.” Unlike during pregnancy, where inquiries about feelings are common, new moms face invasive questions about their bodies and choices, as if they are now public property.
Postpartum depression is akin to being engulfed in flames while everyone around you is celebrating a lottery win. You recognize you should be savoring this joyful moment, but it’s hard to appreciate your blessings when you’re literally, metaphorically ON FIRE.
Moms grappling with PPD are aware they should feel happy, yet the reality is often starkly different. Time, which should be cherished, speeds by while they feel tired, unkempt, and disconnected. Their babies grow before their eyes, and they remain enveloped in a haze of invisible suffering.
So, the next time you speak with a new mother, resist the urge to emphasize her blessings. She is already acutely aware of them. Instead, help her reconnect with her identity beyond motherhood. Offer her nourishment, assist with the baby, or simply give her a moment to rest. Remember, plants don’t celebrate winning the lottery, and lampposts don’t count their blessings. To truly support a new mother and help her reach a place of appreciation for her new role, validate her struggles and assist her in feeling like a person again.
If you want to learn more about the complexities of postpartum experiences, consider visiting this resource for valuable information. Also, check out this post for additional insights into the emotional journey of new motherhood. For those interested in home insemination, Make a Mom offers authoritative guidance on the topic.
Summary
This article emphasizes the importance of empathy and support for mothers dealing with postpartum depression, urging friends and family to acknowledge their struggles rather than simply pointing out their blessings. It highlights the need for validation and assistance in helping new moms reconnect with their identity beyond motherhood.